Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Weathered09 08/17/2016

So the weekend came and I got extremely sick this weekend. I have been so sick. I cannot keep any food down, nor do I want to eat. I make myself because I know I have to. I have developed some serious stomach issues and feel like I have the colon of a 90 year old and I am a 42 year old vibrant woman. Not right now. I feel broken. I am angry that he came back home and just sort of sat and tried to let the same old thing and routine happen and we drift back into our lives again, trying ot find some happy. That is NOT what I want, no matter what I really want. My heart is a wreck. I am physically a wreck. I keep my brave face on at work and with my kids, but my kids know me. They know better. My husband just stays and lingers and I cannot heal, I cannot even know what a life will be like when I am not sick with worry about what he is going to say or do. Yesterday, I ended up having to go to a managers meeting and was going to be late leaving. He started quesioning where I was through text and I instantly got scared and no longer could concentrate on where I was. I was a wreck all the way home, only to not talk to each other, just knowing he is mad at me. Then, this morning, I had to wake up early because it was my day to bring breakfast. I crept off to the grocery store early to get things togehter and again, texted and asked where I was at 445 am and how come my car wasnt home. I told him I just pulled into the grocery store which is one mile from our house. Again, instant fear, trying to rush through the store, shaking because I know he's mad...AND this is after he wants to leave and then stayed because I was sick and he hates to see me hurt. WTF????

mari2016 08/17/2016

I'm so sorry you're going through such an awful time :( It sounds like you need a whole lot of support very, very badly. I don't know your full story but have you contacted a women's shelter just to have someone to talk to? Maybe consider making an exit plan? Or a church or circle of trusted friends, a counselor? As you know this isn't going to get better on it's own but you probably don't have the ability on your own to do what needs to be done to help it get better. I've been separated from my husband for 5 months and it continues to be a rollercoaster but my health and outlook are a hundred times better than when I was living with him. It simply isn't possible to live like that without it making you more and more physically and mentally ill. Hugs and prayers for you.

Weathered09 08/17/2016

Thank you maria2016. I appreciate your kind words. I was seeing a therapist but can no longer afford to see her. Dont know of any other options in my area that are affordable. I have thought about calling an abuse hotline, to maybe just talk and see if anyone has any advice on getting stronger and how to finally break free emotionally of this abusive cycle in my marriage. I feel so defeated mostly because I love a man that is so broken and in turn, I have become broken and I angry. I feel deceived and cheated but then I get angry at myself because I essentially have deceive and cheated myself for years because of this man I love so much. That is a big reason I came to this site. I am hoping to read someones post and I will get more information on taking steps toward a new life. One that I have NO IDEA about right now. I cannot imagine a life without worry, fear or stress. I have had that since I have been with him, 9 years now. Im exhausted.

mari2016 08/17/2016

oh Weathered09, I relate so much to your post. It's hard to plan for a better future when you're so drained physically and emotionally. Please do call a national or local domestic violence hotline. It took me years to work up the clarity and courage to do that and when I did it was a big turning point. It was the first time someone listened to me with complete compassion and understanding, and really validated all that I was thinking and feeling. If you can manage to do it without your husband finding out I also recommend reading books by Lundy Barcroft and Patricia Evans. The more you educate yourself and the more you find the support the stronger you will get over time. It's an uphill battle for sure but it's worth fighting to save yourself. Take it one step at a time and be kind to yourself.

itsjustmeagain 08/18/2016

my ex was a bf, not a husband, so i can only relate on some ways, but what i do know for sure, is that it does change, but only for the worse, your head/brain are saturated w/many emotions, the faster you realize that this is all a game for him and not love, you'll recover faster and start healing, you know in your heart you deserve more, and this is no way to live, get out now, or you'll be on this site 10 years from now saying the same things, good luck, go to church, say prayers, get help, seek out your better self, God wants more for you and didnt put you on this earth to be used and abused.

MyTrueColors 08/18/2016

weatherdog, I can also relate to what you've said. The wanting to leave and then staying because you're sick is a typical abuser tactic.

Getting out was the best thing I ever did for myself. It wasn't easy, but several years later, things are so much better. I can't add much to what itsjustme and mari said/suggested other than if you haven't already, contact a shelter near you and ask about free support group meetings. Many shelters offer them. Also ask them to refer you to an abuse recovery therapist who does pro-bono work and/or charges on a sliding scale basis. In addition, some shelters will help with finding low cost housing, job placement and attorneys who do pro bono work. If your shelter won't refer you, call your local & state bar assn and ask for attorneys who do pro bono. Same with the therapist - call the state board that oversees therapists. If they don't know, open the yellow pages and call them and ask if they do sliding scale or pro bono.

You deserve to live an abuse free life! ~healing hugs~

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