Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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jaylady 10/01/2015

After dealing with a lifetime of vicious people, I have extreme trust issues. In addition, I do not know what healthy love is because I never experienced it. So I ask those of you whom have this type of background, how were you able to realize sincere, healthy love?

disi2222 10/02/2015

It is a very important question. The answer is complicated, I think. It us about building trust very slowly and nurturing you wounded soul with self- care and being able to express your authentic self with someone.
It is a very slow process from my experience, but possible.

cant74deal 10/02/2015

The first thing to learn before you can trust other people is learn to truly trust yourself-because if you trust yourself by extension you'll better trust your evaluations of other people. Trusting yourself includes working on your self worth, getting comfortable setting and maintaining boundaries, feeling capable, among other things. It's working on yourself rather than focusing on other people or possible romantic relationships or other intense relationships. Once you get good at really loving yourself and taking excellent care of yourself it will become crystal clear when someone is untrustworthy, because now you've seen what love looks like because you've been loving yourself. You'll know when someone violates a boundaries because you've defined your boundaries based on your values and what you deserve. You'll know when someone mistreats you even in the most subtle way and you'll have the strength to walk away.

DeliAnnem 10/02/2015

It comes slowly with time.

I got sober and did work on my PTSD. That did a lot to level me out, build myself back up and being to allow others into my world.

jaylady 10/04/2015

Thanks to everyone for your great responses.

DeliAnnem, what type of things did you do to build yourself up?

DeliAnnem 10/04/2015

Thank you for asking.

I did family of origin work to understand that I am last in a line of toxic and dysfunctional relationships. I am NOT bad. I am NOT what my dad said I was. I AM worthy of good things.

I discovered that my parents got they way they are due to THEIR parents. It's not genetic, but hereditary. SO....

The self esteem (or lack thereof) was not TRUTH... I was able to rebuild myself once I understood that I did NOT have to be the image my father carved out for me.

It's deep, I know. But I went away to a week retreat and I basically got years worth of therapy in a 5 day breakout session. I HIGHLY recommend it. It changed my life.

neverbetter22 10/05/2015

I haven't yet, But really try to hope. Hope that something good, That something that has always escaped me, Will start to become my reality, happening to me. . One step at a time.

MendingToday 10/05/2015

I've been going to Codependents Annonymous, it helps me a lot. Check it out.

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