Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I think one of the most important things about recovering from abuse is making sure you don't repeat the relationship in future. Coming from an abusive family, I can see clearly how I thought abuse was normal and how I attracted my abuser in the future. So here is my advice to people struggling with finding themselves constantly ending up in abusive relationships. Here is how to spot an abuser early on in a relationship from katies perspective;
+ an abuser will love to talk about your problems. A good person will listen to you and encourage you to talk, an abuser will do this and more, their motives are bad, they want to find out about you. They will say things like "you have had the worst life, your story is so sad" and point out how you must be damaged.
+they will make out that your family and friends don't like or love you. They will say you dont need them you have me.
+ small arguments early on in the relationship are important, an abuser will never apologise. If you always end up apologising even when you were upset in the first place- thats a big sign.
+ An abuser will accuse you of being upset to hurt them- everything is about them even your emotions. If your crying its to make them feel bad.
+ Abusers love telling you how pretty and special you are, they will say you are the best looking person in the world, but they will never compliment your personality.
Thats all I can think of right now, does anyone else have any ideas?
+ an abuser will love to talk about your problems. A good person will listen to you and encourage you to talk, an abuser will do this and more, their motives are bad, they want to find out about you. They will say things like "you have had the worst life, your story is so sad" and point out how you must be damaged.
+they will make out that your family and friends don't like or love you. They will say you dont need them you have me.
+ small arguments early on in the relationship are important, an abuser will never apologise. If you always end up apologising even when you were upset in the first place- thats a big sign.
+ An abuser will accuse you of being upset to hurt them- everything is about them even your emotions. If your crying its to make them feel bad.
+ Abusers love telling you how pretty and special you are, they will say you are the best looking person in the world, but they will never compliment your personality.
Thats all I can think of right now, does anyone else have any ideas?
In my case, my husband seemed to get along with his family when we were dating. Once married, I began to notice that his mother and sisters were ill at ease if he was moody or had a bad day. If they would disagree with him over a very simple matter, he would try to wear them down to agree with his ideas. His mother in particuliar seemed so submissive that I was annoyed with her. He also was not close to either of his sisters or their husbands. He would argue and argue to "make" them agree with his ideas. If I questioned him, he would dismiss me in a very rude way. I was so in love that I did not have my eyes open. Now I do.