Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Yes people I visited his blog again...
It's like a trap he has set for me and I willingly go back again and again..
Everytime I see what he wrote it makes me all confused, scared, needy, angry, want to clarify...
No I will not contact him..That is one thing I am never doing again...
But why am I visiting his blogs again and again...What am I searching for?
This time he has blamed me for destroying his career, attitude, life...and my sister for destroying his faith on humanity...(as she didnt pick his calls as i had asked him to)
I am feeling so sad...He says we had wonderful 6 years and only thing he regrets is I didn't sit and make him understand that we need to breakup...
All years I tried to sit and make him understand how to make it work and he has the guts to say why I didn't make breakup easy for him...
I wana cry, I wana shout, I wana just sleep for days..feeling very depressed...
It's like a trap he has set for me and I willingly go back again and again..
Everytime I see what he wrote it makes me all confused, scared, needy, angry, want to clarify...
No I will not contact him..That is one thing I am never doing again...
But why am I visiting his blogs again and again...What am I searching for?
This time he has blamed me for destroying his career, attitude, life...and my sister for destroying his faith on humanity...(as she didnt pick his calls as i had asked him to)
I am feeling so sad...He says we had wonderful 6 years and only thing he regrets is I didn't sit and make him understand that we need to breakup...
All years I tried to sit and make him understand how to make it work and he has the guts to say why I didn't make breakup easy for him...
I wana cry, I wana shout, I wana just sleep for days..feeling very depressed...
I know it is hard not to check the blog. I still check the site where I busted my X. We are only human. But you have to get to the place where he cannot hurt you anymore if you are going to check it. Remember it is all lies and you have to see it for that. He wants you to check it. Just remember its his sick side of the story. Let him ramble. No one hears him. You, however, come here and get validated.
Get yourself healed and remember that what he says is not real. Never was.
He claimed I was an alcoholic (I bought and hid a single bottle of gin in 25 years, but after vomiting my way through it, called it a failed experiment).
He claimed I was physically abusive (I slapped him 2 times, both when he had backed me into a corner and was screaming at me).
I'm grateful that all of this was before the time of blogs. It must be really hard and enraging to see the lies out there for all the world to see.
Why do you keep going back? I'd imagine there are multiple reasons. In your post, I can see a desire for justice, in that what he says enrages you, and a desire for the world to see the truth of the situation. I'm sure there are other reasons, too. But the point may not be why do you go back, but figuring out how to NOT go back, so that you can move forward.
I'd suggest that when you are tempted to go back, immediately pick up your journal (if you keep one, and journaling is really, really good, really helps you to be strong and figure out your own perspective), and write down "Why do I want to go to his blog right now?" and start writing whatever comes to your mind, stream of consciousness. I'll bet that by the end of it, you'll know yourself better and the desire to go look will be dissipated and you'll have made one more step toward healing.
Thanks Caty..I am gonna try your trick as I now want to stop going to that blog...Yes the reason I go their is to look for validation from his side that he was abusive..which he will never accept...I will have to realize that it will be sheer lies from his side...Just to make himself look good...I hope this time I don't go open the blog ever again...