I posted my story previously about my ex and his emotional abuse. I am now realizing he was very manipulative as well. Once it ended I feel all his words are resurfacing and I am seeing them in a different light, since I was in what it seemed like a fog before. Literally--I felt I was in a haze. Drunken almost. When it ended I cried out of relief, even though minutes before I was begging my parents not to end the engagement. I woke up.

I am now trying very hard to heal. To have a healthy perspective so I do not become jaded or non-trusting, or that I fall into the traps of emotional manipulation again.
Here's a couple examples of manipulation I had with my ex:
My ex fianc, before engagement, said I can decorate the upstairs floor with furniture and put my taste into the decor. He designed the house and decorated it but he ensured the upstairs floor would be my space to paint or for my expression.
After engagement I ran a few ideas by him and he became on edge and his voice became a bit harsh. He said "What? It's like you want to come and change everything!" I said that he gave me this and I felt now that things are official he isn't letting me be myself. His voice was stern so I said I had to go and hung up. He texted me saying "How could you hang up on me?" I said I didn't, and he said "And you don't wait for a response before hanging up?" He called later and said I stabbed him and hurt him a lot when I doubted his sincerity but it's okay he forgives me and he still loves me and twisted his words in such a way that I had to apologize. He said "I was so hurt that you doubted my sincerity that I didn't even put soap on when I was in the shower because I kept thinking about that. But it's okay I still love you. Even though you stabbed me, I will always love you." He said we will both decorate and I thought my goodness...how incredibly immature and stupid am I for making such a big deal about furniture? He took even small things about my expression and made them and me seem so stupid.
All I knew was when my parents were gifting me with rugs and such and I had gifts from friends for the house, I dreaded asking him where we could put them because I knew he'd get upset and say he doesn't like it and I was "changing" how he set things. I felt like I had to ask his permission. Though he said I had full freedom before engagement.
EVERY argument we'd had since then, he kept bringing that furniture incident to prove how I wanted to break his lifestyle and how I am SO immature and do not know how to be wise.
For example I told him some of my future dreams/goals for my secular and religious endeavors (though I mentioned them before engagement too and he was fine with it) and he suddenly he became overwhelmed and said I cannot take some classes for at least 3-4 years because my education will take attention away from family and I will become extreme and negligent. He had an aunt who became super involved in her studies and neglected her children, and he kept projecting that on me though I kept ensuring him it wouldn't be the sae...to calm him and soothe him. He said he was going to see if he could trust me and stated I could not take classes until he could trust me and I did this to myself because of my lack of wisdom and immaturity. He said I shot myself in the foot, just like the furniture ordeal. He sighed and said in a broken, hurt tone, "Maybe I'm not the guy for you. If you want to be superwoman and take all these classes and save the world then I'm not the guy. We can break the engagement now if you want. I will even help look for this guy for you because I love you THAT much. I didn't realize you were so stubborn." Families are involved...I felt trapped. He manipulated me Always...using my flexibility and softness to his advantage. He said I had to promise not to take take classes and go to hooka with him to prove I'm not stubborn or too rigid. And then when he would get his way he'd say, "my love? Promise you won't leave me? Promise you won't resent me? And you won't make our kids resent me? Please don't leave me? I've never loved anyone like I have loved you."
He was broken and my heart went out to him. And yet he always made me feel guilty I wasn't showing him my love (he wanted me to talk to him sexually)...nothing was enough for me to prove that I loved him...and yet when I would try to be romantic he would tell his parents and close friends, "Gosh she is so obsessed with me." And make me seem desperate.
Nonetheless. After it ended I still am reflecting. Was I at all immature/unwise at all or was he he emotionally manipulative? I'm sincerely asking. Did I do the right thing sharing my ideas passionately...or do guys generally hate that? For next time should I be more subdued?
I just feel like I have to get myself back again but I'm still thinking if I need to be different, if I need to change something so I am not immature next time like he always said I was.

How do you get yourself back and heal? I do not want to be emotionally manipulated anymore:(