I understand what you're going through because I live with that...everyday. My husband would say i'm stupid, what kind of mother I am, etc.; however, the most painful thing is he gets violent throwing things, swearing in front of my kids. I try to avoid him, but he would attack me whenever...I'm sorry to hear that you're hurt tooooo

Thank you so much for replying it means so much to hear that someone eles understands what I go thru. I can not do anything right in his eyes. I can try as hard as I want but as fars as he sees it Im worthless. My oldest son is the one who hears all this . He tells him I dont care about him and ect. I reasure him that I love him dearly. The worst is when he drinks that's when he starts hitting me . Waking me up at 1 am to tell me just how much of a piece of shit I am. I truely dont know how to handle the pain anymore.

You need to start with a plan of how you are going to get out. Start working on formulating that. and take small steps. ( I wouldnt say that to someone getting beat- thats just get out now).

But.... start working on you and IGNORE him to the best of your ability. Don't fight back, don't argue back and realize he is never,never, never going to change. No, hes not. Not even when he says he is. The first step is realizing and accepting that, that even when he is being nice it is because he has a plan in his head on how to abuse you next.

I hope I just made sense with that.

You made total sense. I did leave him before and filed a Pfa on him but he stalked me and to my regrets I took him back. I do try to ignore him and often dont say anything back because of my son beign there but sometimes it just gets him more mad. I truely am geatful for you advise and I am going to figure out how I can do this . It's just doing it is the hard part but I know I need to do something or it's going to end badly. Thank you once again

Betrayed gave you good advice. Begin to make an exit plan...and make sure it's a safe on. Begin to stash cash away, somewhere where he can't find it...I hid it in a few different places so if he found some he wouldn't find it all.

Get all your important documents together, make copies of them, give them to someone you trust. Get your kids things together, so you can get out quickly if necessary. Put 911 on speed dial on your phone....

Most important DO NOT TELL him. When you have all your ducks in a row, then wait until he is gone, and just go....

There is some good information on planning this on the sub-group "Help in Deciding to Leave" under News articles.

Good luck...Hugs

Thank you very much for your advise and I will look into the article. I want to leave but Im scared . The last time I left he stalked me and he always uses my kids against me. I have some serious thinking to do.

All of us know what it is like to be put down..and called filthy names here..because thats what abusers do.

They enjoy hurting you with their pain causing words. hard as it is to believe, it gives them a huge sense of 'control'..and that is what its all about.

Though many of us here, had periods inbetween the hurtful episodes..But to have this..every single day sounds like complete abusive torture.

I think you are great that you are still finding the strength to reach out. When you are being undermined so violently, and excessively, and so badly.

He is obviously an extreme abusive bully, and it is absoloutely wrong..that he is making you live like this. Its is also extremely damaging for your child to witness his mother, getting verbally and emotionally beaten up, every day.

He is a very sick abuser. There is NOTHING EVER that you could do..to DESERVE being treated this way by him. Nothing whatsoever, could justify anyone, treating anyone, the way he is treating you.

He is trying to beat you down so badly, to increase your dependance on him, and sounds like he will won't stop, until he sees you on your knees..unable to cope alone?..You trying harder, will never work, because that only shows him some more level of his control over you, and will only increase his desire to control you.

The way he is using your son, is also abusing him, and it is also very very damaging, and very very wrong.

You do need to get away from him, before he destroys you, and your son, forvever. You don't have to live like this.

ANYthing, would be better than living the way he is forcing you to live.

He sounds dangerous to me, and the advise here is good. I would not engage with him too much for now, for your own safety.

You do need a safe exit..and there is help out there..with places that protect you after you leave.

Please ring a domestic violence shelter, and talk your options through with them, thats exactly what they're there for.

You are his prisoner, and he thinks he can get away with abusing you..for as long as he likes.

I hope you reach out..and take the step to get your son out of there, as soonm as you can.

Your son needs yopu alive, and a man who wakes you in the middle of the night, to beat you..Is capable of anything next. Please don't hang around to see how he will escalate his abuse of you..

You and your son deserve SO much better as your life..and its NOT living with his sick torture anymore..Sorry to call it as it is..But he is a filthy viscious bully.

And NONE of his disgusting behaviours. could ever be your fault..Hugs!

OMG! You just blew my mind with all that you had to say. I know and belive in everything you just said. I have to find the courge to leave. I have to stop living life the way I do. He does more of the verbal then anything because he doesnt want to go to jail again because of me. I will take everything you said to heart and really think things over it just a matter of doing it . That is leaving him