Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I think about my abusive ex (mostly emotional abuse - a few times physical) I just get angry and think of more bad memories. I wonder is this a good thing that may keep me from repeating the past or is it a bad thing meaning when he tries to contact me again (its been 10 days) will i cave and answer that text, phone call or email? I feel bad being so angry.
Scream in some pillows, punch some pillows, go for a run, get an app on your phone or game on your computer where you get to break stuff, listen to some angry music in the car and sing it out as loud as can be, take a long hot shower and cry it out as hard as you can (this one actually worked super well for me when I needed it most), call a friend you can vent to or even just talk everything out to thin air. Say all the things you would say to the person that hurt you.
Anger is a very natural response to abuse. Anger is a very powerful feeling, and very unpleasant for "normal" people. From my experience, abusive partners don't allow you an opportunity to express your feelings in a healthy manner, so the aftermath becomes the overflow of everything you needed to get out a long time ago. Feel free to get it out in any way you want that isn't going to hurt anyone.
And yes, your anger is healthy in that it's warning you against dealing with the people that hurt you. There's a reason why we feel it the most extreme toward people we know have abused us. Getting passed it is going to take time, work at finding healthy outlets for it, and therapy if you're able. I also found that visiting websites such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline (it's just as much there for victims that have never been physically harmed) helped, and using their online chat helped validate how I was feeling. Receiving validation can help greatly, because it's typically something we don't get from our abusers.
and healthy.
You will "get past" it
when you've processed
and healed a great deal
more than you have to
this point.
Generally, we feel
whatever we feel
for a reason. When
we don't respect
our feelings, we
carry forward the
mission of those
who have abused
us. THEY didn't
respect our feelings
and they'd be
delighted to hear
that we've undertaken
they're work, even
after they're no longer
around.
Please respect your feelings.
As time goes by
and you do the
work of processing
your experiences,
and gotten to a
place where you're
safe and free,
you'll find your
feelings of anger
decreasing in
intensity. Till
that time, respect
them. They are
there to PROTECT
you.