Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I found this on a website that I cut and pasted onto my computer. This rings so true to me that I will read it every time I start to doubt my behavior in my relationship. I knew and believed all these things before him. I still can't believe he made me doubt and still does to a certain extent. I hope it can help someone else too!
Basic Rights in a Relationship:
The right to good will from the other.
The right to emotional support.
The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy.
The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive.
The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately your business.
The right to live free from accusation and blame.
The right to live free from criticism and judgment.
The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect.
The right to encouragement.
The right to live free from emotional and physical threat.
The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage.
The right to be called by no name that devalues you.
The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
Anyone feel free to add to the list...no reason it should stop here!
Basic Rights in a Relationship:
The right to good will from the other.
The right to emotional support.
The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy.
The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive.
The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately your business.
The right to live free from accusation and blame.
The right to live free from criticism and judgment.
The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect.
The right to encouragement.
The right to live free from emotional and physical threat.
The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage.
The right to be called by no name that devalues you.
The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
Anyone feel free to add to the list...no reason it should stop here!
My Bill of Rights
By (me)
I have the right.
To have my own hopes and dreams, to work toward them, and to see them fulfilled.
To love and to be loved.
To say no to situations that make me uncomfortable or cause me hardship.
To move about freely on the earth.
To have my voice heard.
To love, nurture, comfort, teach and protect my children as I see fit.
To be treated with respect.
To learn things to make my life easier/better.
To pursue my own path.
To make my own choices.
To be in contact with my family.
To live in a home and environment that gives me ease/peace of mind.
To be able to speak my mind without repercussions.
To be taken seriously.
To go away from those who treat me with disrespect.
To free myself from mental/emotional torture.
To be the person that I want to be.
To have friends.
To not have to live a double life.
To understand what will happen on a daily basis.
To be intimately involved in my childrens upbringing.
To not be deserted by my husband/ my childrens father.
To divorce if I am profoundly unhappy.
To not have sex when I dont want to.
To express my unhappiness without being called mentally ill.
To not be ridiculed in public/in front of my in-laws.
To enjoy my life.
To not have my every move judged/criticized.
To not be owned by an individual or family.
To not be labeled stupid, ridiculous, crazy, un-teachable.
To maintain my own culture/traditions.
To express my own opinion.
To insist on safe conditions for my children.
It's so fitting that you put "The right to good will from the other" first on the list, without it, nothing that follows is possible.
Lundy Bancroft his book, "Why Does He Do That?" says good will or mutuality is exactly what is missing from their heart. They actually view and as we all an testify to treat us as their enemy.
Thanks so much,
Eyes