Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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honeymoon(?) phase of abuse cycle

Loved1
Loved1
I went and saw my ex, thinking I could help, got drawn into a full day of just getting some communication out of the way and some closure and some reattatchment, so a day out of a month we spent together. I get some strength back ans see I don't like the person I am with him because I am not feeling supported or encouraged since he is so bad off and it's just like, stop trying to effect any change whatsoever and stop getting caught up in his neediness, he is in some ways not as bad off as he says, and I did offer the support I could but got sucked down in the process. I don't want to be in a situation I am not proud of. I don't want to be w/ someone who is not good for me overall, though I am encouraging him to be better, it is not up to me to change the man. Oh God please help me! I'm not making it any easier on him by leading him on when I truly don't know what I'm doing, yes I love him and have history w/ him and it's our 1 yr anniversary week and he is my friend and companion, my social life needs filling and my self esteem needs help, and he has been mean to me. It felt good to hear apologies and accountability, it's like I see his sweet side again but his despondent side is just grueling.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Are you married? Just boyfriend/girlfriend? Don't stay with someone that makes you feel like you don't like who YOU ARE when you are with him!

If you are not married, don't see him again. cut him off.

If you are married, get a divorce! There is no reason to stay with someone who brings you down .

Get busy doing things FOR YOU! Stop worrying about him. He is the ONLY ONE who can change himself. PERIOD!
Loved1
Loved1
I see your point I just am still in need of support even if I don't change overnight. I know I am not the only one caught up in the cycle of hanging onto something. It's not so cut and dry. I need support not being ordered to change now because someone says so. Anyway easier said than done, looking more for people who can relate than being told what to do. I am going through a lengthy breakup like I said I'm not ready to cut him off obviously. I have spent more time away from him over all as time goes on which is progress for me even though it is not recognizable to everyone. Anyway I personally don't respond well to being ordered what to do that is not feeling supportive. Thank you for your reply. Obviously it is not easy for me to come here and say after a month I went back to try to get some closure after a breakup without any discussion about it whatsoever. I'd much rather have this time to get some closure and maybe learn it is not something I can do without reattatching to someone I've not let go of emotionally yet, anyway. Physical separation is one thing, emotionally I have work to do and I got drawn back in, period. We're not back together, we're just communicating again and still have some attatchment.