I wrote this to my abusive ex......

WHAT THE HELL?? MY LIFE?

Maybe if you don't want me to be mad at you, you shouldn't have tried to choke me and tell me you fucking hated me and would kill me if you could or maybe you shouldn't have grabbed me and try to pick me up off the bed that one time, or maybe you shouldn't have screamed at me and tried to get me to stay by pinning me down on the couch, or you shouldn't have been so ignorant towards me and put your friends before me!!!

SERIOUSLY, you expect way to much from me, you expect me to be nice to you, even though you hurt me EMOTIONALLY our whole relationship and blamed everything on me and psychically hurt me towards the end.

I did so much for you ,i cleaned, i did your laundry, washed dishes, took care of GABE while you were over at Erick's house. I gave you more freedom than most girls would, I think i have every right to be angry. All you did was treat me like a piece of dirt on the ground. And seems like you think i should be nice to you. it doesn't work that way.

You do not know what i go through on a daily basis from the memories i have in my head from you screaming at me, saying FUCK YOU, or telling me to get the fuck out of your HOUSE or you would THROW me out the door, or the time you told me you would kick me out and keep Gabe there. REALLY JON.

You expect me to be a little angel towards you? All i see is you in my mind every single day of my life now SCREAMING at me! WORD FOR WORD. I can't even sleep because of it. I wake up with my heart racing. I can't stand it anymore. It's every NIGHT.
I AM SERIOUSLY extremely sick of it.

Which is why i try and avoid you! I AM SUFFERING from Post traumatic stress disorder, I can not stand to even think about you, I shudder.

Sure you were nice to me in the beginning until i got pregnant and then you started your thing, with the emotional abuse and taking off all the time. If i have to talk to you ,hear your voice ONE MORE TIME, I am going to go over the edge. I can not stand how you treated me. You played around with my head. I'm not as stupid as i seem.

I know this response isn't going to do much, because quite frankly abusive men don't care about how the victim feels, or even care about what they did to the person, all the care about is themselves. But i had to get this out. I've been holding it in to long, and have been taking out on the people i care about the most including my mom!

I just wish you would leave me alone. Seriously. I understand we have Gabe together. BUT i can not heal if you keep bothering me when you do. Do you even understand that or are you to selfish to care?

Well i'm done for now. Think i'm a bitch, whatever you may wish, but you know who's right.

This is his response to it:
I never said you were wrong, and I never denied that I did anything to you. I know I was abusive. I was never aware of any kind of harm I inflicted on you physically though.

If you lived through my childhood, you would understand why I don't think I was that bad. I have both seen, and been through a lot worse than anything I did. I honestly do regret what I did do though. Thinking back to it, it makes me feel horrible.

No, I never said you caused everything. Any time I tried to explain how we were both at fault, you focused on everything I said about you, and ignored anything I blamed on myself.

I will leave you alone, and try to give you time to heal. Just know, that you're asking me to keep myself from Gabriel. That is like telling me to torture and cause myself pain, just for you. But, I'll do it anyway, just for you. I'm not trying to make you feel bad by saying that. I just need you to know how much you really do mean to me.



Is that a typical response of an abuser???? Im so confused right now......