Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I'm so embarrassed to be here again, actually. I finally left my abuser around 2 years ago and was doing ok. I had to struggle to rebuild myself and finally eked out a job and was looking forward to starting a new life.
Then I made a huge mistake. I started another relationship with a guy that was seemingly nice. Ugh, I moved too fast and got pregnant. Then he showed his true colors. He's verbally abusive and moved to physically abusive after we had our son. Now I'm pretty much trapped as he will only leave for 1-2 minutes while he smokes a cigarette. If leaves longer, he has my oldest child (from previous relationship) go with him. If I try to leave he destroys my property so I can't make a phone call or email someone. He will physically stop me from leaving and I get worn down. I'm in an area where I don't know anyone personally, and I don't communicate with anyone regularly now because of my prior abusive relationship.
I'm at a loss at what to do. I have the money to leave (which wasn't the case in the last relationship) and I have a mobile, stay at home job to keep me sustained. I just am not physically able to leave. Any ideas? I feel so stupid for making the same mistake again.
Then I made a huge mistake. I started another relationship with a guy that was seemingly nice. Ugh, I moved too fast and got pregnant. Then he showed his true colors. He's verbally abusive and moved to physically abusive after we had our son. Now I'm pretty much trapped as he will only leave for 1-2 minutes while he smokes a cigarette. If leaves longer, he has my oldest child (from previous relationship) go with him. If I try to leave he destroys my property so I can't make a phone call or email someone. He will physically stop me from leaving and I get worn down. I'm in an area where I don't know anyone personally, and I don't communicate with anyone regularly now because of my prior abusive relationship.
I'm at a loss at what to do. I have the money to leave (which wasn't the case in the last relationship) and I have a mobile, stay at home job to keep me sustained. I just am not physically able to leave. Any ideas? I feel so stupid for making the same mistake again.
but I would find a way to
connect either with your
state's social service
department or the nearest
women's resource center.
I presume at some point,
your older child is at school.
If that's the case, there's
your opportunity to get
clear of this guy SAFELY.
If you don't want to disrupt
your older child's school
year, then wait till June,
only a few months away
now, and during the last
week of school, let the
school administrators
know that you're in a
dire situation and will
be taking your child
from school a day or
two earlier because
of urgent circumstances.
Please connect with the
women's center first, as
they'll help you put a
SAFETY PLAN into effect,
so you can escape safely.
This guy sounds seriously
threatening. It's important
that you don't underestimate
what he'll do.
But you've shared that you
have both finances and a
job you can do anywhere.
So. . . . you're not totally
"up the creek."
Definitely, DON'T FEEL STUPID.
You've been victimized.
That's not your fault.
But you do need to get
yourself and your children
to safety. Stay focused
and utilize the resources
that are out there to
support you.
Please take good care.
Sending you hugs and
wishes for better days
ahead.
I know that the women's shelter here focuses on a safety plan. I know that you said you work from home, but maybe you can also start by browsing the rental ads in your area.
You may know already to be extra cautious not to let him know that you are contemplating leaving bcz that will make his abuse worse.
Also, there's about 2 1/2 months of school left which will go quickly, unless you will be able to leave sooner. But the sooner the better. I'm rooting for you.