Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Today's been a hell of a roller coaster for me. In the middle of my work day, I crashed emotionally to a 1 - the knowledge that no matter how much work I did, my best friend was going to spend the rest of her life thinking I gave up on her when she asked me to, when I didn't cut me like a metaphorical knife. Then went to session, and it was excellent. Then picked up my daughter from theatre class, but had to sit out front, knowing my old friend was due along at any minute, and her boyfriend encourages her to be angry at even the mere sight of me. Then I took my daughter to my apartment, and told her I moved out six months ago. She loved the new place, and we sang and ate dinner together.
Then I told my wife that, in spite of her direct and repeatedly expressed commands, I had let the cat of the bag.
She stayed away from me, finally saying goodnight as she grabbed her journal and went upstairs.
I"m not going to allow myself to get too caught up in what she's thinking. I am glad I acted as I did. My daughter knows the truth, and no longer thinks I'm at work all the time. She handled it well. I told her that Mommy's solution to us fighting was for us to go to counceling, and Daddy's was to move out. And that were trying both. I also told her that it made Mommy kind of sad if she goes on and on about Daddy's place, so I really needed her to be kind to her Mommy, and not go on about it. She gets stuck in loops, sometimes. But that she could call me whenever she wanted, and Grandpa knew how to get ahold of me, too.
Here's wondering what it's going to look like when the paint hits the fan. This is about the most serious defiance of her in regards to the children... well, ever.
Sorry. Kind of jumpy and fragile right now. Boxing time. The punching bag is healthier for me than the razors.
Then I told my wife that, in spite of her direct and repeatedly expressed commands, I had let the cat of the bag.
She stayed away from me, finally saying goodnight as she grabbed her journal and went upstairs.
I"m not going to allow myself to get too caught up in what she's thinking. I am glad I acted as I did. My daughter knows the truth, and no longer thinks I'm at work all the time. She handled it well. I told her that Mommy's solution to us fighting was for us to go to counceling, and Daddy's was to move out. And that were trying both. I also told her that it made Mommy kind of sad if she goes on and on about Daddy's place, so I really needed her to be kind to her Mommy, and not go on about it. She gets stuck in loops, sometimes. But that she could call me whenever she wanted, and Grandpa knew how to get ahold of me, too.
Here's wondering what it's going to look like when the paint hits the fan. This is about the most serious defiance of her in regards to the children... well, ever.
Sorry. Kind of jumpy and fragile right now. Boxing time. The punching bag is healthier for me than the razors.
Until I see something different, that's what I'm sticking with.
I think it's progress.
And, I'm all for the
punching bag.
I've got one, myself.
Still, I'm glad I was right, and I did the right thing.
Now that she is in the hospital, she has told her dad, and her friends. And I have reached out more. And I think that is all positive.
Trying to shelter a child from this kind of truth is damaging. You don't have to tell her about the abuse, but she needs to know that dad and mom aren't living together and may separate.
I think most adults don't give children enough credit. They know way more than we realize and what they don't hear or see, they still pick up on the energy &/or non verbals of what's going on w/o saying a word. So by keeping them in the dark only teaches them to be in denial. Children learn what they live, then they live what they learn. If only I had known that way back when.....
But we do the best we can w/what we have at the time. This group is a wonderful place to share and teach and learn and grow.