I am really so sorry he found a way to contact you and bring out all these scary feelings. Bottled, I have seen you make SO much progress, I don't know if you, while doing the work and being "in it" can see it as clearly as I do, but you sound so much more peaceful and stronger than you were. The thing that concerns me more than anything else about even the slightest possibility that you might get in contact with him and what might happen is that I believe your very life, literally, could be in danger in making that choice, and that scares the crap out of me. He is a game of Russian roulette for you.

You deleted the texts, that took tremendous will power and strength! Good for you!!! It shows that you can do this. Did you block him from that messaging app too? What do you need from us, cheerleading, helping you make a game plan for other forms of contact he might breech, reminders of why he's toxic, a listening ear for the feelings this might stir up? Just tell me the best ways I can support you and I'm all over it hun!

You can do this!

There are 3.5 billion men in the world. I don't know if any of them will abuse you, but I know with the 1 you are thinking of will.

Use your clarifying index cards or if you don't any just remember the bad moments. Think of what you were always missing.

If you want to be with someone find someone else.

Thank you so much, cant74deal. I'm not typically the touchy-feely type outside of my relationships, but your message gets me teary-eyed just a bit. I didn't realize I was showing my progress so much here other than I just hadn't felt like I needed to be around quite as much, haha! Been standing on my own pretty okay for awhile now.

All I was asking for is the kind of "you go girl" kind of stuff, but maybe not that phrase specifically because it annoys me on some level. ;)

I know I'm doing the right thing for me. I guess your response ended up being more than I expected, to be honest, so I feel pretty good at the moment.

Tangelo, thank you also. I'm feeling pretty good being on my own at the moment. But you are exactly right!

hey you...right support ..dont you text back you can feel smug he has contacted you and you are ignoring him and he wont like that one little bit

say strong sister

block his number again

you deserve better than the hurt you have had and you will find better but you have to give yourself the chance to find it by keeping away from toxic ex's. whilst there is any contact even one sided you are not giving yourself chance to heal and see who you can become

and its a long process and you have to be patient ....but the sooner you start the sooner you will feel better

block him.gggggggrrrrrrrr

Blacldog999, on it, and thank you. :)

You have come so
very, very far.

You're well on your way.

You're on your healing journey.

Way to go!!!!!!!!!

IleneW, thank you. Your words have always been incredibly helpful and supportive. Everyone has, really. I just remember you have been there while I've been dealing with this from my first post in this group, and it's super comforting.

I didn't expect to feel this good about myself if this day ever came. It's a pleasant surprise at the moment.

I'm telling myself that his messages mean things didn't work out for him as well as he thought. I don't know what they said, but somehow telling myself I "won" after he tried to make my life as crappy as he did when we split, it makes me feel like things turned out pretty good on my end.

You deleted it, so proud of you. There is just a trick in there, you protected yourself. That has to feel good. Congratulations.

You can do this. That was a good call that your butterflies were fear and not 'love'. It can be very tempting to send a zingy reply, but all he's looking for is a way back in. There can be no healthy reconciliation, neither closure of any kind. You have shut the door because you want better for yourself. Yay!

Unfortunately (or somehow fortunately, in a twisted kind of way), I've taken him back once before. So if that's what he wanted, I already know how badly that ends for me. Never again.

Thanks yet again everyone. I feel kinda catty, being all proud of this, but I think as long as I keep my wicked responses I'd have for him to myself, then I'm not being so mean. He already knows what he did, he may never acknowledge it, but he knows.

Stay strong. It's so hard, I know. I've left 4 times & come back 4 times.it always comes back to the bad way no matter what he promises. Work on your life. Every day away is a victory.