Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I'm pasting in a story by reporter, Kevin Cullen, which was published by the Boston Globe. It was titled:
The Untouchable Mean Girls
Like a lot of kids her age, Phoebe Prince was a swan, always beautiful and sometimes awkward.
Last fall, she moved from Ireland into western Massachusetts, a new town, a new high school, a new country, a new culture. She was 15, when all that matters is being liked and wearing the right clothes and just fitting in.
She was a freshman and she had a brief fling with a senior, a football player, and for this she became the target of the Mean Girls, who decided then and there that Phoebe didnt know her place and that Phoebe would pay.
Kids can be mean, but the Mean Girls took it to another level, according to students and parents. They followed Phoebe around, calling her a slut. When they wanted to be more specific, they called her an Irish slut.
The name-calling, the stalking, the intimidation was relentless.
Ten days ago, Phoebe was walking home from school when one of the Mean Girls drove by in a car. An insult and an energy drink can came flying out the car window in Phoebes direction.
Phoebe kept walking, past the abuse, past the can, past the white picket fence, into her house. Then she walked into a closet and hanged herself. Her 12-year-old sister found her.
You would think this would give the bullies who hounded Phoebe some pause. Instead, they went on Facebook and mocked her in death.
They told State Police detectives they did nothing wrong, had nothing to do with Phoebe killing herself.
And then they went right back to school and started badmouthing Phoebe.
They had a dance, a cotillion, at the Log Cabin in Holyoke two days after Phoebes sister found her in the closet, and some who were there say one of the Mean Girls bragged about how she played dumb with the detectives who questioned her.
Last week, one of the Springfield TV stations sent a crew to South Hadley High to talk to the kids.
One girl was interviewed on camera, and she said what was common knowledge: that bullies were stalking the corridors of South Hadley High.
As soon as the TV crew was out of sight, one of the Mean Girls came up and slammed the girl who had been interviewed against a locker and punched her in the head.
The Mean Girls are pretty, and popular, and play sports.
So far, they appear to be untouchable, too.
South Hadley is a nice, comfortable middle-class suburb that hugs the Connecticut River nearby and a certain attitude.
Things like this arent supposed to happen in South Hadley, said Darby OBrien, a high school parent, wondering why the bullies who tormented Phoebe are still in school. And so instead of confronting the evil among us, the reality that there are bullies roaming the corridors at South Hadley High, people are blaming the victim, looking for excuses why a 15-year-old girl would do this. People are in denial.
School officials say there are three investigations going on. They say these things take time.
That doesnt explain why the Mean Girls who tortured Phoebe remain in school, defiant, unscathed.
What kind of message does this send to the good kids? OBrien asked. How many kids havent come forward to tell what they know because they see the bullies walking around untouched?
They were supposed to hold a big meeting on Tuesday to talk about all this, but now thats off for a couple of weeks.
OBrien is thinking about going to that meeting and suggesting that they have the kids who bullied Phoebe look at the autopsy photos.
Let them see what a kid who hung herself looks like, he said.
Last week, Phoebe was supposed to visit Ireland, where she grew up, and she was excited because she was going to see her father for the first time in months.
She did end up going back to Ireland after all, and when her father saw her she was in a casket.
Phoebes family decided to bury her in County Clare. They wanted an ocean between her and the people who hounded her to the grave.
Kevin Cullen is a Globe columnist. He can be reached at cullen@globe.com.
Copyright 2010 Globe Newspaper Company.
The Untouchable Mean Girls
Like a lot of kids her age, Phoebe Prince was a swan, always beautiful and sometimes awkward.
Last fall, she moved from Ireland into western Massachusetts, a new town, a new high school, a new country, a new culture. She was 15, when all that matters is being liked and wearing the right clothes and just fitting in.
She was a freshman and she had a brief fling with a senior, a football player, and for this she became the target of the Mean Girls, who decided then and there that Phoebe didnt know her place and that Phoebe would pay.
Kids can be mean, but the Mean Girls took it to another level, according to students and parents. They followed Phoebe around, calling her a slut. When they wanted to be more specific, they called her an Irish slut.
The name-calling, the stalking, the intimidation was relentless.
Ten days ago, Phoebe was walking home from school when one of the Mean Girls drove by in a car. An insult and an energy drink can came flying out the car window in Phoebes direction.
Phoebe kept walking, past the abuse, past the can, past the white picket fence, into her house. Then she walked into a closet and hanged herself. Her 12-year-old sister found her.
You would think this would give the bullies who hounded Phoebe some pause. Instead, they went on Facebook and mocked her in death.
They told State Police detectives they did nothing wrong, had nothing to do with Phoebe killing herself.
And then they went right back to school and started badmouthing Phoebe.
They had a dance, a cotillion, at the Log Cabin in Holyoke two days after Phoebes sister found her in the closet, and some who were there say one of the Mean Girls bragged about how she played dumb with the detectives who questioned her.
Last week, one of the Springfield TV stations sent a crew to South Hadley High to talk to the kids.
One girl was interviewed on camera, and she said what was common knowledge: that bullies were stalking the corridors of South Hadley High.
As soon as the TV crew was out of sight, one of the Mean Girls came up and slammed the girl who had been interviewed against a locker and punched her in the head.
The Mean Girls are pretty, and popular, and play sports.
So far, they appear to be untouchable, too.
South Hadley is a nice, comfortable middle-class suburb that hugs the Connecticut River nearby and a certain attitude.
Things like this arent supposed to happen in South Hadley, said Darby OBrien, a high school parent, wondering why the bullies who tormented Phoebe are still in school. And so instead of confronting the evil among us, the reality that there are bullies roaming the corridors at South Hadley High, people are blaming the victim, looking for excuses why a 15-year-old girl would do this. People are in denial.
School officials say there are three investigations going on. They say these things take time.
That doesnt explain why the Mean Girls who tortured Phoebe remain in school, defiant, unscathed.
What kind of message does this send to the good kids? OBrien asked. How many kids havent come forward to tell what they know because they see the bullies walking around untouched?
They were supposed to hold a big meeting on Tuesday to talk about all this, but now thats off for a couple of weeks.
OBrien is thinking about going to that meeting and suggesting that they have the kids who bullied Phoebe look at the autopsy photos.
Let them see what a kid who hung herself looks like, he said.
Last week, Phoebe was supposed to visit Ireland, where she grew up, and she was excited because she was going to see her father for the first time in months.
She did end up going back to Ireland after all, and when her father saw her she was in a casket.
Phoebes family decided to bury her in County Clare. They wanted an ocean between her and the people who hounded her to the grave.
Kevin Cullen is a Globe columnist. He can be reached at cullen@globe.com.
Copyright 2010 Globe Newspaper Company.
Rest in peace,Phoebe.
This same boy, the cops kid, drew a giant poster of another boy who got picked on a lot because he was a different religion. The poster was of the boy naked making fun of his uncircumcised penis. It said, among other things, something horrible about his particular faith. The school authorities did nothing!
I personally knew two of the kids who committed suicide while I was in school. Another one was a friend of a friend of mine. All three were victims of bullies, lower middle class, smart and nice but not popular.
This is why I don't want to put my kids in school where I live.
Or anywhere really. Unless they can guarantee that my children will be safe from mental torture. From Mean kids.
What can be done?
How can we demand the safety and well being of all of our children in school?
They say teachers don't make enough $$ to be surrogate parents to our children. I think teachers are not allowed by "the system", lest they find themselves unemployed, to do the right thing much of the time.
At 6 years old, we hand them over to strangers who will see them more than we do and have more influence over who they become than we will. Why do we not demand that these strangers will be able and allowed to raise our children with love and respect and teach them to love and respect one another?
I'm scared.
Poor Phoebe. Poor Phoebe's family!
It was probably avoidable. I'd love if some adult came forward and admitted that they knew it was happening but they wouldn't do anything because they would have been punished. I really want someone to blow the whistle on this stuff!!!! They would be a SUPERHERO!
Too little too late for Phoebe, and it's a shame the school itself and those in positions of authority who knew what was going on (and there is no doubt that at least some of those in authority knew and turned a blind eye) are not also facing charges, but I suspect that the fallout from this is far from over.
Not a good result - but it's too late for a good result, nothing can bring Phoebe back, but at least there is a chance that there will be some justice.