Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
As I hadn't heard from him since Feb 9th, where he left a voicemail saying he was selling his side business and heading to Cali, call if I still want to go, I had taken him off block this month, thinking well, he had went and he wouldn't contact me since his trip was over. I had my cell phone turned down at work, like I usually do and missed a couple calls when I checked it at break. One was my younger brother, that is another stressor of a different subject and the other was my ex who left a voice mail. Supposedly, he had not left yet, the place just sold..uh ok, and he was leaving this weekend. He was going to go..ALONE, though he didn't know why he was going without ME and he didn't understand what happened?
He said he didn't know how things got so messed up, he thinks he might know but he's not sure. Anyway, he planned to leave this weekend and hoped he would hear from me. Hoped we would talk when he got back.
ARGHHHH
:(
There was no anger coming from him. There was no why the h*ll haven't you returned any of my calls. No blaming. No I found someone else and you can just kiss my butt. Any of that I could take. I would expect from someone I ignored. And I ignore because I can't even try to be friends because I have too freaking big of a heart and too much feeling left over and compassion to detach from him if I let him in just a little bit.
So I have to be the bad guy. I don't like being the bad guy, but out of protection for my sanity, my health and my mind..I can't blow hot and cold like he does.
Just that call and not even talking to him and I am a mess.
Man, It must be nice to be him. Engage in lives, then disengage when your done playing with no conscience.
I want to just crawl into bed and sleep. I think in about an hour, I will and just cry until I fall asleep.
He said he didn't know how things got so messed up, he thinks he might know but he's not sure. Anyway, he planned to leave this weekend and hoped he would hear from me. Hoped we would talk when he got back.
ARGHHHH
:(
There was no anger coming from him. There was no why the h*ll haven't you returned any of my calls. No blaming. No I found someone else and you can just kiss my butt. Any of that I could take. I would expect from someone I ignored. And I ignore because I can't even try to be friends because I have too freaking big of a heart and too much feeling left over and compassion to detach from him if I let him in just a little bit.
So I have to be the bad guy. I don't like being the bad guy, but out of protection for my sanity, my health and my mind..I can't blow hot and cold like he does.
Just that call and not even talking to him and I am a mess.
Man, It must be nice to be him. Engage in lives, then disengage when your done playing with no conscience.
I want to just crawl into bed and sleep. I think in about an hour, I will and just cry until I fall asleep.
How is looking after yourself being a 'bad guy' I don't see you as the bad guy at all in this. Keep looking after you...sounds like a healthy response to me.
hugs
rick
After this, I changed his name to "Jerk" on my phone, and that mostly stopped my heart from doing that squeezing/jumping thing when I'd see a missed call or text from him.
Almost makes me feel like this is my last chance or I will end up alone with a house full of cats.
I agree with all of the other posters. You aren't the bad guy, and a trip is not anything that can guarantee him not treating you badly again. It sounds like your dad would have you settle for this guy. Please don't, because the treatment he has given you is awful, and is not indicative of a man who loves you.
Hope you are feeling better today. Huge hugs xxx
I know what you mean...the last text I got from my H was "OMG! I can't believe you can't simply acknowledge that you got my text!". Sounds so trivial doesn't it? Why can't I? Because just like you, I can't let him in even a little! Because I know he was trying to start a dialogue with me to suck me back in...to keep me focused on him. You are not the bad guy...you are dealing with an abuser and because of that you have to go to "extremes" to protect yourself. And don't kid yourself, it's not nice to be him. He's wondering through life pretending to be happy, pretending to have a good time, pretending everything is great, but he is miserable because there isn't one damn thing in his life that's actually REAL! And believe me, he knows it! He worries about it constantly. It keeps him up at night. He works so hard trying not to get found out he is exhausted and full of turmoil inside! Always remember that. One day you will be at peace with yourself and your life again, but he NEVER will!
I do believe their inner turmoil does manifest in a variety of ways. Sleeplessness is definitely one of those ways.
Joanie, you deserve way better than what he has to offer. Hold onto your strong. It doesn't feel like it now, but your life is going to be so much better once you are completely free and clear of that hot mess disguised as a grown man.