I have to run wood to a customer and I changed all the ads to his phone number, and only him.
I haven't invited him back. I intend to make a go of being single. I got to shake him off my inner self.
I got to get rid of the sadness I feel for him.I have to make him void out of my life.
It's going to be hard, because we live in a small community.
I am going to start decluttering my house, and plan to have my house in order by the end of April, and in order.
I am also planning a wedding for my adopted daughter, and expecting a grandchild in october, and also I have my children involved in numerous activitites that keeps me busy.
I made a date with my siblings tomorrow so I could have me time.
I been making sure to keep my bills in order so I don't suffer when he is gone, I have a little bit of reserve saved for those difficult weeks.
I have a safety plan in order in case he goes crazy on me.
i am working on going nc, not working very well. I keep texting him.
Hopefully this will end. I am really trying to work towards a healthier me. and also for my family.
Also I am a traditional food gatherer and that will keep me very busy, I gather traditional foods for gatherings, such as memorials, and funerals. And I attend gatherings for support. So this will keep me busy during my time when I am weak and want to go back, because we will soon be gathering after the winter weather and warm weather comes. I love it. being out in the desert, the smell of fresh turned dirt, and the foods fresh from the ground.
I am also planning to start a garden of veggies in my garden. And I also need to start on some other activities that are in the back of my mind.
whew!!! I am a busy girl.

Good for you! What great steps! So glad to see you scheduled some time for yourself with your siblings, too. Look at all your amazing plans and the steps you have already taken.

I post here a lot right now, too, because it really, really helps. You deserve to live the life YOU want to live, for yourself, for your children, and for your family.

Keep going! :-)

Hugs.

It is hard, how you feel right now. Did you ever do Ilene's cards?

Perhaps those will help you if u start to backslide.

And congrats on your daughters engagement. Keeping busy is good..plus keeping your self esteem high.

I admire your determination. I'm here to support you to Rena.

Thank you, he just called getting upset at me about a sale I made with "his" inventory, haha! he recanted later, cuz when he left me, there was money in his wallet that was mine, for a phone bill, so we called it even, and now he is "fine"
I don't know I just explained to him where I am at, and he hasn't responded, so I guess we are just back to no relationship so i need to move forward and not worry about being with him anymore.
I need to start detaching my self from him, and working on myself, and my children, and my household.

Yeah detaching is the key too! We get so used to doing everything for them and for what? To be abused? To be treated poorly? yep because we don't want to hurt their feelings? I don't know why we do it but it is an attachment we need to break! Lets band together and all do it together!! Maybe it will be easier hu? Were all in the same spot! Breaking the cycle is what its all about. I wish we could start a club in person!! Too bad we are all over the world hu? Hugs! I wish you well and hope you can do it!

I hope so too! Inside I am happy he called and that I got to hear his voice, but he still is causing me to feel insecure, soon we will have little contact. I miss him terribly, and I want to get over him, but how do we do that?
I finished everything that I needed to say to him in the last phone call. Maybe he will decide to move on. The reason I know he is planning on moving forward, is because he tried to avoid me when I asked to meet up with him.
I am disappointed that the time apart didn't cause him to miss me at all. It just goes to show how much he doesn't care about my feelings.
Since I met him this afternoon to drop people off to him. He hasn't called me back. Which to me is disappointing. I miss him. I can't tell him that. I even smell his scent on me, and I didn't even touch him. I was in my truck he was in his.
Its crazy how the mind can play tricks on you.
I don't know how I am going to break contact with him. I don't know if I can be that kind of person. I know it is going to be good for me, but I feel I need those cards but I am at work. I guess I will just have to make a list here.