Do not go back to him. Seriously, it'll be worse in the long run. I know right now you feel like someone has ripped your heart out of your chest and stomped on it, but this pain WILL pass. I didn't think mine would subside, yet today I'm laughing and joking around a little bit.

Honey, you need to focus on YOU right now, not him. Get rid of old pictures. Get rid of his stuff. Keep yourself occupied with new friends, new hobbies, new routines. Not only will this help ease the pain, but it will help to give you a new identity so that you're not "his ex".

You can do it, Meg. I believe in you.

Oh goodness hon... it's tough... but you know in your heart he's bad for you... and what you are in love with is only a "picture" of him... not the true him which you discovered over time. Is it really that you want him back or you want the "idea" of him back... Is it because he left you... taking the choice out of your hands? That would be tough for me... rejection is always tough... but there are better things waiting for you now and you can see it as a positive sign to move on and find someone who deserves your love and treats you with respect, kindness, compassion, empathy... How long has it been since you've felt those things?

How to deal with a broken heart... #1 you've taken an amazing step... reaching out for help from others who understand... #2 Rainer has great ideas... keeping busy and getting involved with other people is excellent... expose yourself to positive situations and people... fill your mind with good things and shut him out... stop all contact... he is cancer and he will kill you if you don't cut him out of your life!!!!!

Here4You!

Angel

Thanks for your advice.... it just sounds so hard right now to be honest. He was abusive but not all the time ( i know thats called the honeymoon stage or whatever) but thats what I think about... the good stuff like him holding me and watching movies and stuff. I miss that so much and it kills me to think of him loving someone else. I just wonder if he will treat her the same way. I really am trying to move on but I am so attached to him... I really dont want to do this

Gosh keep in mind your age, you are young. you have your whole future ahead of yourself.

I know what it is like to lose the first man you love, thats the hardest.

Dont even think about going back, you will only then be giving him permission to treat you badly, as he has done this before, and why would he change.

A different man will love you , and make you happy.

Please trust me with that advice

He is gone, Time to find out what makes YOU happy and start undoing all the damage he did..Sweetheart set up a bon fire with all his junk.. Rainer JMO, Meg has an Identity now she just needs to pull it out from all the the negative bs that he heaped on her and become a survivor and become stronger..BuT Rainer is also right about new friends and hobbies..He is gone..Scream for joy that he is.. and be happy...Because you deserve so much more..because he was not man enough to help you find it!

yes i do agree. I know i can do things i always wanted to do that I couldnt do because of him, but now it just doesnt seem important. lol right now all i can do is laugh at how pathetic i am.... i have all these excuses about y i cant do something...i need to just stop and move on but its that horrible pain like someone is ripping my heart out in the worst way possible!

I know its painful hun,but there's only one thing to do and that is get new fella,you are just feeling terrible lonely for him,hes laft void no-one else can fill,you've got to find some distraction to thinking about him,go on dating site or something, Chin up, hugs xx

It is incredibly easy when they are gone to remember the good times... but... you can't forget the bad... Write it down... every bad memory... write it in big letters and post it where you can see it... Create a vision board per se of all the horrible things this man did to you... focus on those things and shut the rest out... What stares you in the face is the truth and seeing it over and over will remind you to never go back...

Angel

Thank a higher order that he left you. If not, the pattern of abuse would have continued.

Please learn to love yourself before you love a male. You did not lose anything worth your life. He will go on to someone else and do the same.

Internal peace

Gosh , please dont be so hard on yourself. Dont call yourself pathetic.

Your just wounded by love (which wasnt real love)

Your allowed to feel any emotion you choose, up down, sad, angry, alone, lost

I remember the hurt of losing a first love, its horrendous, it takes everything, and consumes you (well it did me)

but dont go back!!! He didnt love you, as if he did, he would never have hurt you.

your such a pretty girl, you need to love yourself.

Come on Meg, you can do this, keep strong honey

Like Angel said, write down the bad. It's very easy to forget it all and only think of the good times when he was nice to you. Write down every single bad memory you have and how it made you feel at the time. Any time you start to miss him, read all those things you wrote and try to remember the feelings you had at the time. That was one of the things I read in "how to break your addiction to a person".