Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi DS community - it has been a very long time since I last posted. Much has happened. H and I are getting a divorce and it is getting nasty! It is almost more than I can bear. Tonight, he camehome in a funk and I don't really know why (but then, who knows with an abuser?) I asked him if he wanted to meet me and son at a restaurant. He came, but was a jerk the whole time. I stood my ground and told him that if he was going to act that way he could leave. He started to, then came back and demanded his son. I said no, so the meal was very tense.
Then in the middle of dinner he asked me to give all the jewelry he had bought back to him. I said no. We got home later and he told me that he would give me his Rolex. I told them that it was his. He threatened to throw it away. I told him that it was his choice but didn't think it was a good decision. Well, he threw it away outside. I have no idea where it is. Then he took his third wedding band and tossed it in the same place. I told him it was a very foolish thing he dud, and that it may have been the most foolish thing he has ever done. Then I reminded him that he planned to give it to our son some day. He looked straight at us and said he didn't give a F.
What do I do? Let it go? Bring it up with the atty? Ugh! Can't wait for this to be OVER!!!
Then in the middle of dinner he asked me to give all the jewelry he had bought back to him. I said no. We got home later and he told me that he would give me his Rolex. I told them that it was his. He threatened to throw it away. I told him that it was his choice but didn't think it was a good decision. Well, he threw it away outside. I have no idea where it is. Then he took his third wedding band and tossed it in the same place. I told him it was a very foolish thing he dud, and that it may have been the most foolish thing he has ever done. Then I reminded him that he planned to give it to our son some day. He looked straight at us and said he didn't give a F.
What do I do? Let it go? Bring it up with the atty? Ugh! Can't wait for this to be OVER!!!
Can you get away from him before it's finalised? I know what it's like, mine was like that too. I actually still have his wedding band, because he threw it away so I kept it. When I get around to it I'll sell the two of them as a set - they are beautiful rings. Will be a shame for that reason, but oh well, not like I'll ever wear either of em. I also remember so many "pleasant" dinners out like yours. Lovely.
So yes, bring it up with the atty, but otherwise let it go. It's not worth engaging with them over this sort of stupidity. I TOTALLY understand the "ugh".
I am three+ years out of my abusive marriage and my ex-h continues to harass me via lawyer and is still fighting for custody of the son.
What kind of person just throws away expensive things like that out of spite? Seriously?!
Give the thrown-away jewelry to your lawyer to put into a trust for your son.
Stop interacting with him, except through the lawyers.
Take very good care of yourself and be vigilant in everything thad goes down, in relation to the divorce and future co-parenting.
Try to communicate through your attorney only. And dont' walk away from the business--- he will just bring up something else. Believe, me, I've been there too. One day he will run out of things to bring up. Just make sure everything is written down regarding custody/visitation and don't let him play around with the schedule. If he manages to get you to change your mind once, he will continue to manipulate.
Hang in there and don't blame yourself if you can't be strong immediately! I tried to "negotiate" too many times before I realized it wouldn't work.