my dad did the sasme thing with my mom. Try to get your own counsiler at first and after a while have your husbend come in.

Abusers are usually smooth talkers. They have a way of forming their own truth. I say leave the SOB. You don't need him. Move in with your mom if you have to or whoever you can. Life is too short sweetheart! He is probably the one who causes your depression and anxiety.

I wish I could lean on family, but they are 9 hours away! I can't leave my daughter and I especially cannot afford counseling. Ack!

Abuse is abuse none the less...doesn't matter how extreme...it can get worse. I agree with lindsay...if your family is too far away there must be friends around that can help you out or help you and your daughter get to your family.

Mmmmmmmm they usually do that, deflect the problem onto others. Tell the councellor your feelings

Honey, I have been there. I was forced to have a psychiatric evaluation to prove that there was nothing wrong with me. Then of course once they said there was nothing wrong with me, I was supposedly sleeping with the evaluator (he was a man in his 50's and I was 28 at the time) LOL!!

Eventually they will see through him. Once they think that they have a person fooled, they start to slip up and the truth will shine through. When dealing with abuse it does appear that one has mental issues and in a way we do because during the abuse they make us doubt ourselves so much that we start to question our own sanity at times (at least I know that I did).

Hang in there and know that he can't keep up his charade forever.

I cannot stress enough the importance of getting a good counselor. Someone who is familiar with abusive situations should be able to see right through something like this. I would suggest getting a new counselor who just you go to see to help you through this. Maybe you can contact a women's shelter or ask around to find someone for cheap. But be warned, the cheap ones usually aren't as good. Good luck to you!

An abuser is known usually for his manipulative ways. They live for it and that is how they relate to almost everyone. Their really insecure people, that you never really truly know.

My hubby is seeing a counsellor right now too and I think he was making it look like I was ungreatful and unloving etc. and focusing on my issues etc. When my issues were a direct result of his. So, I went for my own visit, cause I wanted to make sure the counsellor knew alot of the real issues. My hubby was all for it. Well, of course my hubby never got into too much, except how can he make me happy. The counsellor just thought I was probably restless.

So, you see their so use to manipulating and deceiving and controllling that I don't think they really know the issues. They don't see themselves like that. They truly think most of the time it's the other person, and not them.

he might be only slightly abusive now but in a blink of an eye it could change to greatly. my moms ex did the same thing had her committed even then when she got out he almost killed her