Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi Everyone! Hope everyone is good and everyone had a good weekend.
Well...... He bought a house this weekend! Woo Hoo. He is closing in 45 to 60 days which should be right around the time the judge approves our divorce.
I am very happy! Getting sooooo tired of all the head games.....
Got really irritated because for the last few weeks he keeps talking about how he is getting "screwed" because he is not able to get a house like we have. How our house is so nice and how he picked everything out and designed it when we built in, yada yada yada........
He said it again last night when I was telling him I was happy that he found a house, he said yeah but it is nothing like this house. He never comes right out and says "YOU ARE SCREWING ME". But he doesn't have to with the things he does say such as "You don't realize what you have here, you don't realize how nice this place is, you don't realize how expensive what we have here is and what I am getting is nothing compared to this, nothing is as nothing as this house and it just sucks", etc. etc. etc.
I told him that he had the opportunity to keep the house but he chose not to. He didn't seem to care.
I called him today when I got an email from our mediator with a copy of the divorce papers and it just reminded me how he is not even going to comply with the child support order and told him "You know...... I just want you to remember that you are not the one getting screwed and I am being more then fair with you....." I told him "I don't ever want to hear him tell me that he is getting screwed again and elude it is my fault and reminded him how he is not even in compliance with the child support order, etc.". He went on a "civil" tangent about how I get so hung up on literal things such as the state law and its requirement of how child support works and how it is not fair that because he makes more he should have to pay me anything, blah blah blah."
I told him how I could use the help because as it is the kids will be suffering when they are with me when it comes to extra things that he will be able to do with them with all the extra money he will have because he is not paying what he should. He was really upset and said "like what" "they won't suffer". I said "going on vacations with me, etc., something that you will be doing with them". He said well "You would rather just go to your parents or sisters house for vacation anyway". I was infuriated..... I told him that was not true that it would be nice to be able to do things with the kids but I won't because of him and told him that I just want him to remember that the next time he thinks he is getting screwed. He said that I always take everything he says too literally and that I need to stop making myself out to be a victim all the time!!!!!
We hung up and he called me back trying to justify himself by saying, "look, I am paying for the boat & you can use it whenever you want, blah blah blah." I am not using the boat.......... It is for him not me! He knows that........
Then he calls me later sounding all depressed telling me how he still loves me and wants to have a good relationship with me and doesn't want it to be hostile, etc. I told him he is the one making it this way acting like I am a retched bitch taking him for everything he's got. Then tells me how he will help me with the kids on things I can't afford and will allow me to participate, WTF O_o!!!!!! Then finishes it with in the sweetest voice "Will you come to my house for booty calls?"...................................
So irritated right now!!!!!!!! He really makes me feel like I am too sensitive and maybe I do over react. Am I making myself out to be a victim?
Well...... He bought a house this weekend! Woo Hoo. He is closing in 45 to 60 days which should be right around the time the judge approves our divorce.
I am very happy! Getting sooooo tired of all the head games.....
Got really irritated because for the last few weeks he keeps talking about how he is getting "screwed" because he is not able to get a house like we have. How our house is so nice and how he picked everything out and designed it when we built in, yada yada yada........
He said it again last night when I was telling him I was happy that he found a house, he said yeah but it is nothing like this house. He never comes right out and says "YOU ARE SCREWING ME". But he doesn't have to with the things he does say such as "You don't realize what you have here, you don't realize how nice this place is, you don't realize how expensive what we have here is and what I am getting is nothing compared to this, nothing is as nothing as this house and it just sucks", etc. etc. etc.
I told him that he had the opportunity to keep the house but he chose not to. He didn't seem to care.
I called him today when I got an email from our mediator with a copy of the divorce papers and it just reminded me how he is not even going to comply with the child support order and told him "You know...... I just want you to remember that you are not the one getting screwed and I am being more then fair with you....." I told him "I don't ever want to hear him tell me that he is getting screwed again and elude it is my fault and reminded him how he is not even in compliance with the child support order, etc.". He went on a "civil" tangent about how I get so hung up on literal things such as the state law and its requirement of how child support works and how it is not fair that because he makes more he should have to pay me anything, blah blah blah."
I told him how I could use the help because as it is the kids will be suffering when they are with me when it comes to extra things that he will be able to do with them with all the extra money he will have because he is not paying what he should. He was really upset and said "like what" "they won't suffer". I said "going on vacations with me, etc., something that you will be doing with them". He said well "You would rather just go to your parents or sisters house for vacation anyway". I was infuriated..... I told him that was not true that it would be nice to be able to do things with the kids but I won't because of him and told him that I just want him to remember that the next time he thinks he is getting screwed. He said that I always take everything he says too literally and that I need to stop making myself out to be a victim all the time!!!!!
We hung up and he called me back trying to justify himself by saying, "look, I am paying for the boat & you can use it whenever you want, blah blah blah." I am not using the boat.......... It is for him not me! He knows that........
Then he calls me later sounding all depressed telling me how he still loves me and wants to have a good relationship with me and doesn't want it to be hostile, etc. I told him he is the one making it this way acting like I am a retched bitch taking him for everything he's got. Then tells me how he will help me with the kids on things I can't afford and will allow me to participate, WTF O_o!!!!!! Then finishes it with in the sweetest voice "Will you come to my house for booty calls?"...................................
So irritated right now!!!!!!!! He really makes me feel like I am too sensitive and maybe I do over react. Am I making myself out to be a victim?
Make him comply with the order. Everything you let him get away with will only give him encouragement to take even more. Though I would suggest waiting till he's out of the house before you inform him that you will be enforcing the order.
What Liv said, I agree with totally.
Also, I'm thinking he wants to be able to do stuff like vacations and what not with the kids, that you can't do.He wants to buy their love. We all know how that works, It doesn't. It has never ever worked for the situations I know about, in fact it usually back fires real good.
Hopefully this mess will get straightened out. Try and not to listen to him, sounds like he is trying to drive you crazy.
Good luck.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Okay, all jokes aside...
He is trying to manipulate you by shaming and guilt tripping you into doing what he wants. He is doing everything in his power to get what he wants. As hard as this is to do, I try to look at through a humorous lense, just waiting to see what they do next. Of course this is easy to do until they attempt to drag you down to their level... That is when you stay true to yourself, lean on a friend and come here.
Because we will love and support you no matter what you do.
Just so exhausting...... =)
Happy Tuesday girls!
Everything you feel is perfectly ok. Even if it makes no sense.