That's a bit of a clich, but it is true pretty often but not always.

People who experience abuse often feel a need to assert control over their own body, to negate the times that someone else had control. Becoming hypersexual or asexual is one option. Eating disorders crop up a lot, so does self harm.

But things like yoga, bodybuilding, martial arts training and so on also help assert ownership of the self. So a common cure for a negative way to cope is to replace it with a more helpful one. Therapy also helps to restore a sense of personal safety, but I also suggest krav maga.

Thanks Richard for your response

I also have noticed.that I have problems.with my eating. Hopefully I can get into therapy to deal with this.

You mentioned krav maga. Have you trained with this organization? If so, how was it for you?

I don't know the statistics on that, but I urge you to do your own research, focusing on legitimate cited studies. I think its also important to look at how they were done and who did them. I would also be interested in whether or not those participating in the studies had done any therapy and for how long. That would be important to know because any kind of abuse is insidious and has a long lasting impact. But that doesn't mean we cannot heal.

I am no expert, but I do know that the trauma that results from sexual abuse can manifest in many different ways and to varying degrees. It certainly did for me. I think its normal for either of the reactions you mentioned to happen, but the effects of abuse aren't limited to that.

Lack of sexual desire happens for many reasons, not the least of which is not feeling safe, as well as feeling helpless and shameful. I also think that those who become promiscuous could be doing so because they are looking for love & validation (among other reasons).

I also think one can still feel sexual desire but just not act on it because they don't feel safe. And, at the same time, they feel great shame even tho it was NOT THEIR FAULT.

Based on what I have learned in my training, I do think that until one has done some serious long-term therapy, one may very well find him/herself in successive abusive relationships, including friendships, because that is all they know and they don't have the help they need to find their way out. (NOT because they like it or want it.)

The good news is that I think it is possible to heal enough to regain one's sexual desire and/or end their promiscuity with appropriate therapy (i.e. the right modality and enough time). Therapy can help the client regain their self-esteem and self-trust, as well as teach them to self-validate and set/keep healthy boundaries.

~healing hugs~

PS, Without knowing more, I have mixed feelings/thoughts about the appropriateness of a therapist telling a client what your friend's therapist told her. But that's JMHO.

In the 90s i trained in LINE, linear infighting neural override. Its a quick to learn and very vicious system designed for the usmc. Not good for exercise but GREAT for regaining a sense of safety. Krav maga has wider applications and depends less on strength.and it is VERY effective. Any isreali army vet knows it well enough to teach, which makes finding a qualified teacher a snap. Youtube has great videos of LINE, MCMAP which is the newer version and krav maga. Tai chi is great for women since it turns the attackers strength against them, but its harder to find a good instructor

I think that whoever made such a major generalization needs to do a lot more study about abuse victims. I haven't heard of any studies or statistics that back up that statement.

I think people lose their desire for sexuality for a large number of reasons and that it's probably much more complicated than were they abused or not.