Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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stacyleanne 04/12/2011

So I was driving to the gym...and I saw his car. He works at a pay day loan company and i know helps out at the store in my area of town sometimes and I'm sure he was there today. However, he usually will park his car in another area of the parking lot and this time it was right out by the main road, backed in. Almost as if he knew (which he does) that I would drive by on my way to the gym and he wanted to make sure I saw his car. I kind of panicked, started breathing hard, heart racing. I think because I was fighting off the urge to stop in. Why would I do that????? I don't know but I wanted to. But I fought the urge, drove past and worked out. I intended to drive a different way home but forgot. I saw it again, and had the same urge, but I didn't give in.

How come after a month and a half, and now I feel I am doing better than ever alone, is he still inside my head and why would just seeing his car have the effect on me? It kind of freaked me out. Has this happened to anyone else?

Tamehau 04/12/2011

Everyday! Its called a trauma bond. Somehow we attach to them and cannot detach from them. A lot of the time we are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to our relationship with these toxic people. Trust me, each time you drive by and keep going you will feel more and more empowered. At first you will have mixed emotions. But as you heal you will find it easier to do and be thankful that you did.

deleted_user 04/12/2011

stacyleanne, after seventeen years with my abuser, I'm out. We have kids, so we're sharing in the responsibility for them. I would still rather have no contact. My heart races every time he drops the kids off. Believe me, though, the no contact in between is what's making you strong. I know it is me.

deleted_user 04/13/2011

What draws you are the emotional dependencies and appetites you had...that he met...for a while.

We are driven by our needs and sometimes made dependent and crippled by them.

Meet your needs in better ways than this carbon unit who's abused you.

deleted_user 04/13/2011

Yes, I've definitely been through the same thing. Even just a simple act for me, like him trying to get back in contact with me, causes me a good several days if not longer of emotional pain and issues. Glad you're staying strong and not giving in!! It's a battle, but in the end we are better off staying away and keeping that healthy distance.

deleted_user 04/13/2011

I know a lady who was abused when she was younger. She ha been with her current husband for twenty years. She said last year she saw her abuser for the first time in over 20 years and she felt the same sense of panic and fear wash over her. She said she watched for him everywhere she went for almost 6 months afterward. I'm not sure its anything we'll ever fully get over.

deleted_user 04/13/2011

" I know a lady who was abused when she was younger. She ha been with her current husband for twenty years. She said last year she saw her abuser for the first time in over 20 years and she felt the same sense of panic and fear wash over her. She said she watched for him everywhere she went for almost 6 months afterward. I'm not sure its anything we'll ever fully get over. ".

This is what scares me. If I ever get to the point where I have the strength to leave or just can't take it anymore, my husband knows where I am at ALL times. He is the stalker type, has sat in the parking lot at my work watching me, sat in his car in the lot at home watching, waited for me outside some store where I've been shopping, always watching and popping up unexpectedly. And I'm sure it will never change.

deleted_user 04/13/2011

This is where an order of protection helps, sassy. I couldn't make my husband stop his abusive ways until I brought in the law. Most abusers are cowards at heart.

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