Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Growing up with a narcissist mother causing ptsd? No matter if she involved now at 35 or if it has to do with other areas of my life there is a non stop old school projector movie of past events playing in my head. If something is difficult in my life then this happens. I just cut off from my crazy mom for recent events but stuff from every possible trauma has been a revolving door of memories
And the repair of
that kind of trauma
requires specialized
professional attention.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
healing, recovery
and better days
ahead.
I'm not a therapist and could not diagnose-but I can promise you that 35 years of abuse will have psychological effects, or none of us would be here if there weren't consequences to abuse we have to figure out how to deal with. It's what alerts us to abuse in the first place-the damage and distress.
What you are describing could be a trigger, or a flashback. For a long time I would experience something similar when forced to have contact with my Ex (I did limited contact for years-I don't recommend it). Sometimes still when triggered hard enough it can take several days before the fog lifts. Basically-I feel like I'm right back there again-the confusion, the self doubt, I can't think straight, I feel angry, anxious, sad and worthless, and so bone tired-sometimes with headaches or stomach aches. I feel like I'm trapped, crawling out of my skin. Like a trapped animal is the best way to describe it. It doesn't happen so much anymore-I've gotten so much better at dealing with triggers and being triggered, and am now triggered much less often. But when it happens it is still very unpleasant.
Also, triggers are funny things-you can't always anticipate what triggers you, and triggers sometimes become generalized to other situations you wouldn't imagine. For example, a big issue for me were many things about being competent and capable because of what the abuse did to my self esteem and self worth. For example-I'd get panic attacks in the car. Eventually I linked this (with the help of my therapist) to fears of not being capable to keep myself safe while in the car. I'd had several car accidents and my ex would never let me live them down. He'd made me feel like I was a car accident waiting to happen.
The more you are not being actively abused and your clarity comes in stronger and stronger, and you're not in a constant state of stress-fight of flight from abuse and your feeling better-the better you will become at identifying what ....let's call them barriers....have been created in your heart and soul from the abuses you've endured. And then you can start dismantling them and experiencing your untapped potential.
Many people think PTSD only happens with big T, single event traumas. But it's important to remember that the body reacts to physical and psychological threats in the EXACT same way. We distinguish between those two things, but a body preparing to handle a threat does not. It's going to go into fight or flight mode and dump all the chemicals into your body you need whether someone is threatening your sense of self or your physical self. When the stress is constant and chronic-the body never really recovers from this physical reaction to stress and conditions such as PTSD can develop.
This is why it's good to have a therapist who specializes in abuse and trauma, even though I know I've said that before.