Cover yourself with truth. He cannot break that. You are very strong. You have dealt with your parents, you are the hero in this situation for your children and an inspiration for a lot of women.

you can do this. take deep breaths if that helps. it is going to ok tulip. let us know how it goes if you want to.

Breathe deeply.

Call upon the strength
that travels with you in
the prayers of others
and that lies within
yourself. . . . to have
gotten you this far.

You're a warrior.

All will be well.

Stand in your truth and let your light shine. It will set you free.

Sending you positive healing thoughts and holding space that all turns out for you and your children's benefit.

Thank you everyone! I appreciate your good wishes today, they really helped. I hated being in such close contact with my ex. I could feel the dark energy around him, like sick air, and that's not something I say about most people. It made it very difficult to be in the same room.

I have a difficult issue coming up. I guess in my state the next step of the divorce process is an evaluation where you both sit in a room together with your lawyers and a social worker and 'tell your side of the story,' meaning talk about the abuse. It's called an early evaluation. Then the social worker makes a suggestion to the court about how we should handle the divorce. I already STRONGLY said I was extremely uncomfortable even being in the same room with him, much less talking about the abuse in front of him. My concerns were brushed off, they were like, "Oh we'll have a guard and an emergency button and he can't hurt you in here." Well I'm not worried about him in the courtroom, I'm worried about him that night, or the next day, or the following week. I have worked hard for 20 ears to not antagonize him because I know where it gets me, you can't seriously expect me to just tell people about his abuse while he's there watching me do it? Ugh Ugh Ugh.

I have worked hard and I am generally very strong, but the thought of facing this is just beyond me. I expected way better from the court system and after speaking to my lawyer and the court clerk it appears I am not going to get it - this is just how it is done unfortunately. I don't know if I can handle it. I'm really frightened.

If you've already
been there or if
you contact them
now, the local
women's center
may be able to
send a victim's
advocate to be
in the "evaluation"
with you.

If you haven't already,
please give them a call.

during hard times, or stressful times my therapist has stressed relying on support networks. perhaps that may help you tulip. to lean on those who are close to you when you are going through this difficult emotional time. it is very triggering for you. if the women's center can't provide someone to go with you, maybe there is someone else that can be with you that you want to be there?

you will get through this because you are genuine. I am rooting for you my friend.

Hi Tulip.

I know that sick air you are talking about. Ugggh what an awful thing to have to face. I love the idea of having someone you trust be with you. ((Hugs))

I had to testify against my rapist before.. I know it is extremely horrifying. Just tell the truth.. That's all you can do.