Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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ltwist 12/08/2013

So a friend of a friend wants to introduce me to a guy who is good friends with her and her husband. She approached me last night and I got the basic run down on him. His ex cheated on him, got pregnant, married the other guy. He doesn't have kids (neither do I). He is self-employed as a contractor. Lives in the same town and maybe a few years younger then me. And, according to MY friend, who met him once briefly, he is tall and funny.

Friend of a friend wants to give him my phone number with the thought that we could meet for coffee.

I have mixed emotions about this which I view as a good thing. In the past, I would have not thought twice and readily handed out my number. But I have really only been away from my ex for about four months. While I truly would like to have a loving, lasting relationship, I'm concerned it may be too soon. I certainly don't want to do any damage to the healing I've already accomplished.

I know it's my decision to make. I'm leaning towards giving her my number. After all, it's just coffee, right? Any pearls of wisdom would be appreciated.

FarAndAway 12/08/2013

That's exactly what I was going to say--it's only a coffee. Not holy matrimony. :-) I understand your mixed emotions, though. Best would be maybe to just go in the spirit of light-hearted friendship. And go slooooww.

AndreaBEE 12/08/2013

It's just coffee. I would do it. I look at these dates as what do I have to lose??? I have met some interesting people and can call out a weirdo very quickly. It doesn't take long now.

RockinBunny 12/08/2013

Yeah, you could go. If things start in a direction you don't like or aren't ready for, say it's still REALLY soon promptly, and step back. You won't hurt his feelings, and you'll have told the truth quickly enough for him not to have got too many ideas. :) xx

1seekingpeace 12/08/2013

I say go of it! I think getting out and meeting new people is good and will help the healing process. I've been out about the same amount of time as you, and it already told you, I done sitting here mopeing, and my friends never want to get out and do things. ,I've enjoyed the enter action if anything, and I've met some interesting people online, more new friends... I'm not suggesting you do the online thing, but have a cup of Jo, it shouldn't hurt.

IleneW 12/09/2013

I have nothing new to add.

The main points have been made,
which include. . . .

There's no harm
in chatting with
someone new.

At worst, you're
exercising social
skills, which may
be rusty.

If it looks like there's
potential for anything
to develop, that's great
and can also possibly
be put on hold, till
the time is right
for YOU.

My opinion is. . .
to take the introduction.

Enjoy!

AndreaBEE 12/09/2013

See............Go for it. It's only coffee.

kazb25 12/09/2013

I'm on the fence, sorry, but this is my opinion.

Just make sure your really ready, I know it's only coffee but what is it for you?

Already you've stating you'd like a loving lasting relationship, and I'm not suggesting that's what you'll be thinking about over coffee but what I think you could benefit from is friendships and only that for the time being, whilst your still wondering "should I go for coffee is it too soon" which suggests that what you'd eventually like (relationship wise) your not ready for.

My advice is if u go, go with the intentions of only making a friend. Friendships with men are good after abusive relationships.

It restores some trust in men for a start.

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