Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Good book...reccomendations

anglvette
anglvette
I picked up 2 books a few days ago one of which I have started The Emotionally Abusive Relationship by Beverly Engel has been full of a lot of relative information. On the cover it says "how to stop being abused and how to stop abusing." I myself have been abused emotionally and verbally from what I can tell and most likely by what I think is a Narcissistic but of course I'm no doctor. I have really like this book because it has covered so many different types of emotional abuse that I can relate to many forms confirms that I have been abused in some way and am not crazy. The other book I picked up but haven't started is The Verbally Abusive Relationship how to recognize it and how to respond by Patricia Evans I hope it's as good as the other one even tho I am only 60 pages in that one it seems to be able to speak to me. Is there any books any of you would recommend on these types of abuse? Thanks and I hope others will have a chance to look up these books as well.
hockeymom5592
hockeymom5592
Those are both great books. The eye opener for me was Lundy Bancrofts "Why Does He Do That? Inside the MInds of Angry and Controlling Men". He has counseled 1000s of men for court orderred dv counseling. I read that book and I thought....damn, this guy knew my ex!!! I

I'm sure you will get other suggestions. If you click on the "recommendations" tab at the top of the home page of discussions you will see lots of books listed there.

Big hugs, happy learning!
rosiekins
rosiekins
So far my fave is the one Hockeymom just said...I love that book. BUT as controversial as he is, what turned me around to recognize my narc H and drop my jaw was when I found online parts of the book
Malignant Self Love...Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin. WOWWWWWWW!! Takes one to know one!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Like Hockeymom says, "Why Does He DO That" was a really big eye opener for me. I think I'm actually going to buy it and read it again. Another book that my dad actually gave me when I was 21 or so was "The Gift of Fear".
deleted_user
deleted_user
I read Patricia Evan's book on the advice of my T after my first visit. I highlighted everything in the book my husband said or did. Can you imagine that every single page was almost completely covered in yellow highlighter. That's how I found out I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship. I read everything I could to gain insight and empower myself - the library, books stores, and the internet. Knowledge is power!

Two years later after I filed for divorce and moved out, I found DS. What a help this sight has been. Life experiences as relayed here by wonderful, intelligent, understanding people is the biggest help of all.

Keep learning!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree on the Lundy Bancroft book, and I also think No Visible Wounds by Mary Susan Miller. I think those are the two best I've read. A lot of others seem to blame the victim or try to encourage them to "fix" things.
anglvette
anglvette
Thanks for the book recommendations. No I didn't know about that link to the on the discussions board so I did look it up as well. I really appreciate all the input. I'm still working on the first book as there are some exercises to do I hope to start tomorrow on them. Anything that helps things be a little clearer for me in some way is good. Thanks again for all your recommendations.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Another vote for ANYTHING by Lundy Bancroft, especially "Why Does He Do That?". He does not mince words and does not place any of the blame on the victim, as some authors do.