Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Yesterday was the last straw. He came up yelling in my face and while not physically touching me just his intimidating force pushed me back and I turn my body around. Pulled the phone cords out of the phone while talking (sobbing) to my Mom. Grabbed the phone out of my hand and proceeded to throw it in my direction-went right by my head and smashed into the window with enough force to bust the phone up and tore two leaves off a plant. I can't believe the window didn't break. He knew better then to hit me and if I had moved at the time he threw it, it would have hit me and done some damage. I sort of wish he did hit me so that I could call the cops and have him arrested and could leave with my kids. As it stands I want to have a temporary custody permit in hand so that I can leave and him not cause more trouble then I will have. He will be livid when (if) I get that paperwork and will do ANYTHING, say anything to get back at me. I will be talking to leagl aid on Monday (dang the holidays) to see if I can get help. Oh gosh I am so nervous that they can't help me. I don't have any money to hire an attorney. I found out that he went to the courthouse yesterday and talked with someone having to do with domestic issues. Is he able to file some papers that give him temp. custody? Did he tell Social Services lies about me? I am a wreck....
Please send out prayers for me and hope they will be heard.
Please send out prayers for me and hope they will be heard.
I understand your fears. A year ago I was in the same place, even having panic attacks. My MIL and H threatened to take my kids from me, which DIDN'T happen, but I was SO afraid. I learned during this time that cruel people are WEAK. He's losing control and he's going to escalate things to try to get you back in your place. It's all sound and fury. Hold steady inside yourself. You will be okay and you CAN get away from him.
I'm sending a link which has a list about overcoming fears in divorce. When things were really bad for me, I printed out this list and read it several times a day. It helped. The process is terrifying, but you'll come through it strong and you'll find a way to solve each and every problem that comes your way.
http://www.womansdivorce.com/facing-your-fears.html
Hugs.
The incident you described is just horrible! I'm so glad that he didn't hid your head or face, and impair you for life. You could have gotten a concussion, or had seizures from the blow to your head, or he could have broken your nose or facial bones, or blinded you....
I mean the list of possibilities is endless. I certainly hope that you realize that YOU ARE NOT SAFE IN THIS HOME WITH HIM, and neither are your children. His raging is so out of control, and all of you are in jeopardy. Your kids....I hope to hell they didn't see this or hear this. HOw could they have missed this! This is putting a terrible toll on you and those kids.
Please take care of yourself, try not to escalate the situation, just to prove anything. All you need to prove to yourself is that you and the kids are worthy of living in a safe environment. You won't change him, only he can do that with tons of professional help.
I would certainly keep that appointment, and look into social services in your community. I'd rather be hidden away in a shelter, where it's safe, than live this way, in fear!
Don't worry too much about the possible lies he has reported (if he even did), and you need to take the first steps to get a restraining order out on him. I do believe you had a case, even if you didn't get hit, that was a classic case of domestic abuse.
YOu need to either get him out legally, or remove yourself & kids a.s.a.p. Please think about those poor children, and what an imposition this is on them, and how they will grow up! You gotta get some professional help like tomorrow!
Please keep us posted, and be very careful! Do you have family where you can stay or a good friend's house? Something? You really need to listen to all these terrible loud warning bells. May God watch over you and your kids, until you get some real resolution, and may that be tomorrow! Amen
Not knowing exactly where you are, here's some contact info for the D.V. centers in your state:
Charlottesville, VA
302 Hickman Rd
Suite 101
Charlottesville, VA 22911
Phone: 434-979-9002
Richmond, VA
5008 Monument Ave.
Suite A
Richmond, VA 23230
Phone: 804-377-0335
Fax: 804-377-0339
Please contact them Monday morning.
You must proceed with care and vigilance.
Don't assume that because he hasn't gotten in a physical strike till now ------ that he won't.
I asked a lawyer if I should call and report the incidence and he said no that it would just cause the police to not be as prompt in the future if I needed them to come quickly. He is smart enough and has enough self control to not do me physical harm. If he does all the cards would be in my hand-he knows this. I am getting out of this with my kids. The abuse center says I need to make a plan and they are going to help me do that. A little prayer karma doesn't hurt.
Thanks to all you all again!