Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hello all:
Does anyone keep a getaway stash fund of money if you need to get away from your abuser in an emergency. My wife is an abuser who is bipolar and will be fine for 3 months and then have a total blowup. It is hard becasue things are fine and then she just goes ape shit.
My parents have passed and dont have any family in the area. So I try and keep a stash fund of cash if I need to leave for several days for a hotel. But my fuel pump just went and it was $500 so I am catching up on bills. this is so crazy. I have had to borrow from my 401k in the past.
Why don't I just leave you might ask? I have in the past and will in the future. In the past I was more unhappy without her but now I know that I WILL NOT accept any more further abuse. It's just so hard because she will be fine for many months and be a great wife and then go crazy. Isnt it wierd that i have to live like this and be thinking I need a hotel stash? or is it just pathetic? Ideas anyone?
Amexdm
Does anyone keep a getaway stash fund of money if you need to get away from your abuser in an emergency. My wife is an abuser who is bipolar and will be fine for 3 months and then have a total blowup. It is hard becasue things are fine and then she just goes ape shit.
My parents have passed and dont have any family in the area. So I try and keep a stash fund of cash if I need to leave for several days for a hotel. But my fuel pump just went and it was $500 so I am catching up on bills. this is so crazy. I have had to borrow from my 401k in the past.
Why don't I just leave you might ask? I have in the past and will in the future. In the past I was more unhappy without her but now I know that I WILL NOT accept any more further abuse. It's just so hard because she will be fine for many months and be a great wife and then go crazy. Isnt it wierd that i have to live like this and be thinking I need a hotel stash? or is it just pathetic? Ideas anyone?
Amexdm
I had to use it too. The first time I had to.use it i took my kids to.dinner and then rented a hotel, I told them we were just taking a break. I didn'.Sleep all night, got my kids up the nexf morning and got them ready for school. Checked my cell phone after i took them to school 52 missed calls... I'm surprised the phone didn't go dead.
Anyways, I can relate.
I even rented a PO box in my name only, because he was throwing my mail away.
I highly recommend getting a credit card in your name only & having it sent to a P O box (also in your name only). Also having your own bank acct in a bank other than what you and she use together is a good idea. Of course do all of this in your own time frame.
Also, it's a good idea to start making copies of tax returns, marriage license, her soc sec #, her most recent pay stub (if she works), financial statements, mortgage papers & any other legal/financial papers that may be needed if & when you decide to file for divorce. Keep them in a safe deposit box or w/a trusted friend.
It's a whole lot easier to do it while you're still together and before she would have a chance to destroy or hide things. And before you say she wouldn't do that, think again. I didn't think the ex would do many of the things he did, but he did. So it's important to make sure you have all the info you need in a safe place.