It's happened to me. In fact, I had dreams about her just last week, over a year out. The dreams come with varying emotions, some pleasant, some distressing. I usually don't remember the details of dreams, but I do pay attention to the subject of the dream and my emotional state when I wake. And after I dream about her, I almost always wake with a sense of relief and freedom.

I think this is normal. Your brain is subconsciously trying to process and organize some very confusing memories. I view it as a healing and growing process and a natural way your body is trying to deal with stress and emotional trauma.

I agree with Kevin. Unfortunately, 5 weeks is really not that long in the scheme of healing. The dreams will lessen as you process all that happened. I hope you are also getting some form of counselling, I know that helped me (and many others) enormously.

I've been separated from mine for about six weeks now I think. I just woke up from a dream about him! I've also had lots of other dreams about him during this time.

There was one where I was really angry at him and hitting him over and over whilst trying to ask him why he had done what he had done and why he had married me and then just dumped me so easily. He just laughed in my face and called my emotional outburst funny and pathetic and that that's what he'd always thought about them.

Most of them have been sort of good dreams though. Like the one I just woke up from, where I'm still totally in love with him and he's still with me and everything is sort of normal. There was a bit of a nightmarish quality to it though. It's like I'd just managed to get him back from leaving me and I was trying to burn everything to do with the past and anything that could cause him to leave again and I was desperately scared of him not wanting me anymore, all the time. It's like I was fighting for him all the time. It wasn't very pleasant but part of me wishes I could go back to sleep to be back with him again.

I expect I'll be dreaming about him for a very, very long time to come, considering the trauma he's just put me through and considering he's still all I think about everyday.

Hello Mia.

Oh my goodness, it's been years for me and I still have dreams or flashbacks. They were, of course, much worse in the early part, right after we escaped. I think what your feelings is very normal.

You know what I started doing? Replacing the ugly, scary thoughts or flashbacks with something that made me happy. Meaning, whenever I could hear his voice in my head or a bad memory would pop up, I would make myself think of something good. Music helped a lot. Oh, it took a while, but I finally got very good at it.

It is confusing, but you sound like your already working at healing. Good for you hon. I promise you, it will all be worth it down the road.

Thanks everyone! I'm glad I'm not alone in this... the thing about it is, I don't really think about him at all anymore... The dreams interweave with my Grandmother (she passed away earlier this year while he was living with me) I feel like maybe I'm just trying to sort through all of this, and they are both things that I don't think about every day, and then BAM, it hits me like a truck and I miss my Grandma and start crying... then dream about him or have a little panic attack that night that he is back.

I did start therapy originally, I need to get back into it, my therapist flaked on me... who would've thought that would happen? lol

So glad to hear someone else dreams of their ex abuser. Mine are sometimes so real it's freaky and the scenarios are crazy. some getting back together, some super divorced, some still married in the old days. I like the one's where I'm standing up for myself and have my new life. The last one I had was that he remarried me for our son (and still married to his current wife) and wore 2 wedding rings. Side note, he never wore his wedding ring w/ me but I see it loud and clear when I have to see him at son events. It's just our minds processing the situations. I write mine in a journal if they are really vivid. I usually learn something from them.

Just wanted to say that I dream about my abusers as well and I try to learn from my dreams, especially the nightmares. There are times I wish for a lobotomy to take all memories away, but I realize that is a messed up way to think. Your mind is a beautiful thing and you should not wish for it to be scrambled just to avoid negative thoughts or memories. I feel that in time and in refocusing my energy and thoughts I will get past the negativity. I really do believe that our mind can be a powerful tool in either healing or in hurting, depending on what we choose to do with it.

Its normal..I have been out of an abusive relationship for 3 years and I still have nite terrors .
I used to have to call the neighbor in the middle of the nite to have her look out her window to make sure my ex wasnt outsside because my dreams were so vivid and scarey .
It has gotten better though ...but I still have nitemares about him .
I hope you find some peace .

I am 6+ years out and I still have the occasion dream about my ex-husband and abuser. Usually it is a nightmare and I dream that I am still married to him.

It takes a lot of time and effort to exorcise an abuser from you psyche. And time doesn't heal all wounds. For faster recovery I hope you are considering seeing a therapist who is trained is helping people recover from abuse.

If you work at healing and recovery every day, I promise your dreams will (mostly) go away. Hugs to you for better days ahead...