Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
My experience left such a big mark on me, at the end I was too tired, too weak, I couldn't think, my brain needed to rest, and that's when I fell into the alcohol pit. It made my mind rest more than it should. It helped me forget for a while. Just so I could have strength to think about all this later.
Thing is, I abused my limit. I spent days drunk, morning to evening.. But I could gather myself again and stop drinking everyday. But sometimes, things get hard to handle and.. every month or two I get a few drinks. Is it a bad thing? I don't feel addicted, but I feel miserable that I need a drink to relax and stop thinking..
Thing is, I abused my limit. I spent days drunk, morning to evening.. But I could gather myself again and stop drinking everyday. But sometimes, things get hard to handle and.. every month or two I get a few drinks. Is it a bad thing? I don't feel addicted, but I feel miserable that I need a drink to relax and stop thinking..
It's quite common to use food, substances, shopping, surfing the net, etc. as a way to distract ourselves from our pain and/or enable us to handle things. I am not judging or saying it or you are bad, but, there are healthier ways to handle things.
If you're worried about your drinking, you can contact AA for a pamphlet that has questions that depending on your answers will tell you if there is anything to worry about. My experience/training around substance abuse is that it isn't how much we drink/use/shop/etc., its WHY we are doing it.
The only way I know to deal with the pain and trauma of abuse is to get help from a qualified therapist.
I know its scary to even think about therapy, but its even more scary to continue w/o it. It may take trying out more than one therapist. But its important to find one who has additional training in trauma release/recovery.
Here is a link to a post to which I responded that gives you some information to on what to look for in, and ask, a potential therapist. It's response #5.
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Physical_Emotional_Abuse/forum/20246893-my-therapist-doesnt-get
You have good insight and awareness. Trust them.
~healing hugs~
alcohol in moderation is not
necessarily risky. For some,
though, even occasional use
IS risky. If you think it even
might be, then you'd do well
to either limit your consumption
severely or try to avoid it altogether.
"Needing" to drink to "stop thinking"
is definitely a risky and ultimately
ineffective approach. MTC suggested
looking into therapy, and I'd have to
agree, that that's one of the enormously
better ways to mend your mind from the
damage you've endured.
Back to addictions:
For many, many years I
ADORED York Peppermint
patties. Eventually, I ate so
many during the day and as
something I snacked on
before bed, that my dental
care couldn't keep up with
the delicious sticky, sugary,
creamy candy ---- I rotted
my otherwise healthy teeth
and spent hours getting
fillings.
Pretty soon after that I
decided that I wanted to
hang onto whatever was
left of my mouthful of teeth,
and didn't buy anymore
patties after I finished
what I had. I managed
to weather the initial days
of going "cold turkey" off
my habitual snack food
and transitioned to
something else that
(while being now less
caloric, at least) endangered
the integrity of my precious teeth
to a lesser degree.
But knowing how much
I always loved the peppermint
patties, I haven't had one
since I stopped, because
I worry that I won't be able
to enjoy just one ----- but
will fall backwards into the
addiction of tossing back
one after another. I've come
far enough from those days,
that I might be safe and not
go nuts. But. . . . I just don't
want to risk it.
Ironically (or synchronistically,
as my Asian studies professor,
Doctor Wu would have said), at
the same time I gave up my
beloved York peppermint patties,
I broke off my relationship with a
guy whose last name was "York,"
as well. Never saw HIM again
either, even though he lives in
the same town as me.
If you have a history of
anesthetizing yourself
with alcohol, instead of
enjoying a drink now and
then socially, in moderation,
then you might want to consider
leaving it totally behind, at least
for some designated period.
And I totally second MTC's wise
suggestion that whatever you
decide about alcohol consumption,
you also consider connecting with
a QUALIFIED therapist, and work
on repairing the injuries from the
inside, out.
Practice SELF-CARE
every day.
Sending hugs and
wishes for good
things for you,
from here on out.
There was still a tiny voice inside of me that wanted something better. Getting professional help and doing my homework has been the turnaround for me. I want to take care of all aspects of myself now in a healthy way. I don't always do it perfectly and sometimes slip, but the point here is progress not perfection.
For relaxation I have used a form of hypnosis called guided imagery and lots and lots of affirmations.
Example: In our mind we can imagine ALL of the kind and loving words and thoughts that ANYONE has EVER had for us (living or dead) gathered together, surrounding and protecting us always. As we walk through the hardships in this journey called life and know that we (you) are loved.
Therapy helps, the emotionally charged work is difficult but I am (as you are) worth it. (((hugs))) and prayers.
But yeah, I'd say that drinking in general is a bad thing and your approach is risky.
I'd swap that habit for working out, yoga, journaling.
Don't be afraid of the pain. Be joyous that your are feeling pain after the END of it; so many struggle to get out. You did.
Read Thicht Naht Hahn- can never get his name spelled right... But his brilliance is in his simplicity and validation.
Hugs.