Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi, haven't been on for awhile as I have been down with a stomach virus and honestly depressed over the way my friendship has been going. My friend I went to the salon with and shopping with (the one who works in mental health and connected me to a therapist there) has been getting pretty critical and judgemental of me. She has made comments that I shouldn't isolate with my depression then when I try to talk to her she says she gets paid to listen to others drama all day so she would prefer I be upbeat. She tells me I am too damaged to date, then fry's to get me to go to bars with her cause how else am I gonna meet men? She tells me to move on from my past (in which at least I am remaining NC with my ex) yet she has an abusive ex husband and prior abusive ex she stays in touch with. It's like she is right yet she can do all the negative things she wants? Oh and to top it off, she keeps diagnosing me when she is not a therapist. She says she feels I am paranoid, therefore I am schizophrenic. I am Moody, so I am bipolar. Etc..etc...which does nothing for my already low self esteem. Now because I am avoiding here, she says I should not be pissed at her for telling the truth. More like I am just tired of being run down. :(
What you've described
is dyfunctional interpersonal
behavior.
Hold healthy boundaries
and take good care of
yourself!!!!!
She totally stepped out of bounds, blending her therapist & friend roles when interacting with you.
Ilene is right on.
And you, my dear Joanie, have a strong sense of awareness of what she is doing. What that tells me (IMHO) is that you are not as depressed as she is 'diagnosing' you to be.
What I am learning in my past & present training & current work is that grief is often misdiagnosed as depression.
I am not diagnosing you, as that wouldn't be appropriate, but what I have noticed w/myself & many others coming out of abusive relationship(s) is that we are grieving and grieving often manifests itself w/the same 'characteristics' as depression.
Joanie, you are quite astute and you're right, her actions are not helping...they're actually hurting. Like Ilene said, TRUST YOUR GUT.
Big hugs........
What they are saying is that their version of "the truth" should be your version of the truth. Their perceptions are more accurate and important than yours.
Really sorry to hear this; sucks to have a helpful friend turn and be the opposite.
And being told to be upbeat!??! My wife gets mad at me when I'm not happy. I mean, how can you be happy when someone is upset at you anyways?!?
And diagnosing you is plain wrong. She should know if she works in the field.
Believe in yourself!
I do agree with the others. Please trust in your gut and believe in yourself, and please take good care of yourself.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))
I've experienced telling people what I'm going through and instead of looking at my life and seeing how it functions, applies THEIR life to mine and gives advice based on THEIR life which is totally unhelpful.
It's GREAT to share advice and examples, but expecting our lives to apply to others doesn't help, especially when the other person is being forceful about it.