Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I figure that I can talk about a friend I had here, because even though she wasnt romantic, it was still a relationship. She was the first person who called me her best friend but she treated me like crap and then twisted it around to where it was my fault, and I was the one to blame. I believed her and in rolled my need to please people who dont matter. She would yell at me any time something didnt go her way, if I had a different opinion, if I couldnt hang out with her, and for things that were out of my control. We grew up together because there were good things about her too, there always is. And after graduating High School she talked me into moving out of state with her to live with her grandparents for a summer while we worked.
The summer started off great and I was so happy because I thought that we could be different. We both got jobs at this little gas station just off the highway, and our manager training us was great. And then it all went downhill Im a person who likes their space sometimes especially if I work and live with the same person, but oh no, she couldnt have that. She would get mad at me (of course never in front of her grandparents) over my me time, and all of the disagreements weve had before. They all came back, and as always, they were all MY fault.
At work even though she wasnt literally the boss of me, she acted like it. She told me one time, You know, Im trying to treat you like a friend instead of a boss, but I am. I was so sick of it I tried to leave back home early, my manager actually told me to leave after hearing about how she treated me when backs were turned. I told her (in front of my manager) that I was going to quit and leave early because I was homesick. Good enough? I thought so. We left with her saying, okay and not another word. The drive back to her grandparents was quiet That is until she exploded. Why cant you stay two more weeks! Im your best friend! I cant drive the whole way back by myself! Do you want me to crash! The argument got so ugly and so out of hand so fast that I put my wallet and a change of clothes in a plastic sack and I was going to walk or hitchhike 5 miles back to the store and stay with my manager until I could figure out how to get home. But before I did, she came in and apologized and begged me to stay the two weeks.
But I knew I couldnt Every time she texted me my hands started to shake and my stomach sank, every time she yelled at me I would start to cry. Why would this person who called herself my best friend and even sister do this to me. That night I packed my whole room without anyone noticing and the next day while she had work I said goodbye to her grandparents (who didnt even know we were having problems), and took 7 hour bus ride home without her knowing. It was the bravest thing that Ive ever done and I still think that I was a little chicken. But, I tried to tell her I was leaving and she wouldnt let me go. What else was I supposed to do?
She called me that night when she got back and I was gone in tears and I accepted her back into my life because I didnt know what to say to this crying monster on the other line. But a few months later I told her (for the 4th time) that I didnt want to be friends with her, and she actually accepted it and I havent seen her since.
I want to post this for the purpose of someone finding it helpful. She was in my life for 14 years and she molded the person who I am and made it really difficult to be happy with myself again. No matter what the abuse, no matter who the person is, if they dont make you feel good just being you, you need to get out of that relationship. Its not worth it. This girl ruined me for boys, other friends, my family, and even my work And she was just a friend.
There are good people out there. I know it may seem hard right now, but I believe that it gets better. So, for once, think about yourself, and what this person is really doing to you.
Good luck and thanks for reading.
The summer started off great and I was so happy because I thought that we could be different. We both got jobs at this little gas station just off the highway, and our manager training us was great. And then it all went downhill Im a person who likes their space sometimes especially if I work and live with the same person, but oh no, she couldnt have that. She would get mad at me (of course never in front of her grandparents) over my me time, and all of the disagreements weve had before. They all came back, and as always, they were all MY fault.
At work even though she wasnt literally the boss of me, she acted like it. She told me one time, You know, Im trying to treat you like a friend instead of a boss, but I am. I was so sick of it I tried to leave back home early, my manager actually told me to leave after hearing about how she treated me when backs were turned. I told her (in front of my manager) that I was going to quit and leave early because I was homesick. Good enough? I thought so. We left with her saying, okay and not another word. The drive back to her grandparents was quiet That is until she exploded. Why cant you stay two more weeks! Im your best friend! I cant drive the whole way back by myself! Do you want me to crash! The argument got so ugly and so out of hand so fast that I put my wallet and a change of clothes in a plastic sack and I was going to walk or hitchhike 5 miles back to the store and stay with my manager until I could figure out how to get home. But before I did, she came in and apologized and begged me to stay the two weeks.
But I knew I couldnt Every time she texted me my hands started to shake and my stomach sank, every time she yelled at me I would start to cry. Why would this person who called herself my best friend and even sister do this to me. That night I packed my whole room without anyone noticing and the next day while she had work I said goodbye to her grandparents (who didnt even know we were having problems), and took 7 hour bus ride home without her knowing. It was the bravest thing that Ive ever done and I still think that I was a little chicken. But, I tried to tell her I was leaving and she wouldnt let me go. What else was I supposed to do?
She called me that night when she got back and I was gone in tears and I accepted her back into my life because I didnt know what to say to this crying monster on the other line. But a few months later I told her (for the 4th time) that I didnt want to be friends with her, and she actually accepted it and I havent seen her since.
I want to post this for the purpose of someone finding it helpful. She was in my life for 14 years and she molded the person who I am and made it really difficult to be happy with myself again. No matter what the abuse, no matter who the person is, if they dont make you feel good just being you, you need to get out of that relationship. Its not worth it. This girl ruined me for boys, other friends, my family, and even my work And she was just a friend.
There are good people out there. I know it may seem hard right now, but I believe that it gets better. So, for once, think about yourself, and what this person is really doing to you.
Good luck and thanks for reading.
To this day at 62 years of age I struggle with problems created by an abuser 40 years ago and my inability to deal with how I feel when the same feelings are brought forward again today.
I am sure there are others who will read and understand their situations in a different light after reading.