Hi Friends! I haven't given you an update because I have been going through so much lately. My cousin and her 5 children came to live with us unexpectedly, but her awesome husband unexpectedly died and they had no place to go. They found a massive blockage on my moms artery and her crazy doctor kept screaming she could die. Got my cousin through the funeral and move. Got my mom through her heart procedure and good news not as bad as they thought. She got a pacemaker but is still in the hospital. I'm stressing over my job because I'm missing time. That's the gist.

My ex is back from vacation and I must get the plates off his car. His car is in my name. His insurance automatically comes from my paycheck. I refuse to pay it any longer. He went on vacation and basically dismissed me. This was the last straw for me. I want the plates, the money I'm owed and I want to give him the title so he can get it out of my name. Friends this man is being so disrespectful and dodging me. I'm angry, which is a good thing but I'm so full of rage. I'm in fight mode. I keep arguing with him over the phone and when he won't pick up, I go into this texting frenzy. I'm not nice at all. The things I say are to break him down to his knees and I won't let up. He knows I won't report the car stolen. I want to but I don't want to. I just got off the phone with him and screamed my head off for about 20 minutes. I'm drained, I'm tired and I just want all of this to go away. I told him about my mom and cousin. Part of me still wants him to care. Of course the only thing he cares about is his car.

I need to focus. I need to get back to the place where I am taking care of me. I have to get back on track. I'm obsessing again and it breaks my heart. I know better and I want so badly to do better. Somebody please pull me back in. I so need to focus because I really do want to win. Even though I'm the agresser, I feel defeated.