Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Well.... It's been a year since losing my friends, respect, trust, my reputation, and my virginity. He was 19 and i was 13, I don't know what I was thinking... Maybe that an older guy was into me and I was cool or something. Well I was not cool and losing him was so painful and hard, but needed to be done. It is one of the hardest things to talk about to our relationship to family because all that come with me is regret and guilt for how i blocked my family out of my life for him. When I was with him I left everything behind. I lost family and friends and I still alone a lot to this day. When I talk about my experience with other people I feel a small part of freedom to tell them the things I went through and the signs so that it wont happen to other people.
He followed me everywhere, showed up at my house unannounced and my phone only had messages from him, calls from him. If he saw any messages from people I didn't tell him about it felt like a never ending war. He told me how to dress and the things I was aloud to do, and he told me the clubs I could be in at school. One of the many times he would show up in my room while I was sleeping, I woke up to him there and tried to run He grabbed my wrists and wouldn't let go. I should have fought back, but this was the guy that took everything away from me and without him I had nothing. It was the hardest thing to leave him. My dad took me to file restraining orders, but the court date took forever that when it did go through we didn't even get it. I felt like the smallest, most worthless person in the world. I came to school crying and my parents nor the judge had pity on me.
It is such a hard thing to talk about and it hurts everywhere inside when I talk about it, but it also gives me a little bit of freedom as I try to move on and get life back on track...
He followed me everywhere, showed up at my house unannounced and my phone only had messages from him, calls from him. If he saw any messages from people I didn't tell him about it felt like a never ending war. He told me how to dress and the things I was aloud to do, and he told me the clubs I could be in at school. One of the many times he would show up in my room while I was sleeping, I woke up to him there and tried to run He grabbed my wrists and wouldn't let go. I should have fought back, but this was the guy that took everything away from me and without him I had nothing. It was the hardest thing to leave him. My dad took me to file restraining orders, but the court date took forever that when it did go through we didn't even get it. I felt like the smallest, most worthless person in the world. I came to school crying and my parents nor the judge had pity on me.
It is such a hard thing to talk about and it hurts everywhere inside when I talk about it, but it also gives me a little bit of freedom as I try to move on and get life back on track...
Legally the responsibility is on him.
I am sorry that this is how you had to learn the signs of an abusive relationship, with this experience, but I am glad you are talking about it - aware and spreading awareness.
I was thinking that it would be good to find an adult around you that will believe you have done the best you could do with the information you have had at the time and will not judge you. Someone like the school's counselor or maybe even a therapist who has the proper experience to talk to about this.
So sorry for what you have been through and what you are going through now! But it's great that you are reaching out at your age! It took many of us a lot longer to realise how to do that!
Maybe you can see about some counselling where you are? And keep coming here to express yourself and get support.
I think it's really terrible that your parents and the judge did not think there was some fault with the older boy and how he treated you! But not surprising as most of us in here end up in abusive relationships because our families had issues as well. Sorry to say.
Keep reaching out! You're on the right path!
I find what you described as this guy's behavior scary and confusing. And you should not be with this by yourself.
This is most definitely not your fault. This man is a terrorist and needs some serious help. Thank God you are out of that situation!
I was in a relationship with someone who sounds similar and I am sure I would have died if I stayed.
It is very difficult when your parents are not supportive, but know you will get through this one day at a time.
If you need some support, please send me a message.
God bless.
You were the
unknowing victim
of a violent molester.
You did NOTHING
wrong nor did you
do anything to
deserve being
attacked, as you
were.
Here's a number
you can call for
help NOW:
800.838.8238
Please call and
ask them if you
can get counseling
NOW.
Atlso, at fifteen, you're
obviously still in school.
In a month, you'll be
back at school and
most schools have
nurses and other health
professionals there to
help with all students'
needs. You won't need
your parents' approval to
get connected with
services (THAT YOU
NEED), that the school
provides.
You're entitled to
all kinds of support
to help you recover.