Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
he came and brought me my keys, and later on I am going to get a memory card to get my pictures off his phone. :(
I cried for the first time today. I cant stop the tears they are flowing like a river. I have to stop them cuz i am at work and they will send me home if they see me upset.
I am finally feeling the finality of it all. I really feeling my thoughts today. I know in my heart and mind that people who love each other don't treat each other like this. With anger and unforgiveness. I know that our relationship is over and it hurts. I can't change him, and I can't stop the abuse no matter what I do.
My heart sunk into my stomach and I felt all jittery when he called this morning. We are cordial to each other and that is good. I am glad that we can at least have a decent conversation and hopefully this will be the final door I need to close and be able to heal and move on.
I told him I know he hates me right now and can't stand to even hear me, but I hope one day he will remember how I smiled for him and only him, and how I called him handsome, sweetheart, and the man of my dreams. I hope that one day he will cherish those memories and that I know I am damaged also, that I carry a lot of my own demons and two wrongs don't make a right. i believe it is time for us to be single and work through our mourning period. That if he hates me so much then I want ALL the pics from both phones so I can move on. He can forget that I ever happened.
I know no contact is a must. But I had to get that out and he needed to hear it.
Today after I get those pics, I will be on my way to healing and wholeness. It will be another step for me towards letting go.
I am getting used to sleeping by myself, and getting used of my phone not ringing every little while. I am getting used to being alone. I am still yet on robot. I am still yet just getting up and doing. I am like a square wheel right now. I clunk along making it from one breath to the next. I hate that I am the only one feeling this. He has moved on so quickly. I think thats all today.
I cried for the first time today. I cant stop the tears they are flowing like a river. I have to stop them cuz i am at work and they will send me home if they see me upset.
I am finally feeling the finality of it all. I really feeling my thoughts today. I know in my heart and mind that people who love each other don't treat each other like this. With anger and unforgiveness. I know that our relationship is over and it hurts. I can't change him, and I can't stop the abuse no matter what I do.
My heart sunk into my stomach and I felt all jittery when he called this morning. We are cordial to each other and that is good. I am glad that we can at least have a decent conversation and hopefully this will be the final door I need to close and be able to heal and move on.
I told him I know he hates me right now and can't stand to even hear me, but I hope one day he will remember how I smiled for him and only him, and how I called him handsome, sweetheart, and the man of my dreams. I hope that one day he will cherish those memories and that I know I am damaged also, that I carry a lot of my own demons and two wrongs don't make a right. i believe it is time for us to be single and work through our mourning period. That if he hates me so much then I want ALL the pics from both phones so I can move on. He can forget that I ever happened.
I know no contact is a must. But I had to get that out and he needed to hear it.
Today after I get those pics, I will be on my way to healing and wholeness. It will be another step for me towards letting go.
I am getting used to sleeping by myself, and getting used of my phone not ringing every little while. I am getting used to being alone. I am still yet on robot. I am still yet just getting up and doing. I am like a square wheel right now. I clunk along making it from one breath to the next. I hate that I am the only one feeling this. He has moved on so quickly. I think thats all today.
You are feeling so much because you are a very sensitive and caring woman...it shows in your words...
He is "moving on easily" because he needs a new victim.
Glad that your world is calming down, and hope you focus on your children, and those who REALLY "love you".
GL!
thanks for the hugs:)
{{hugs}} endless supply, kiddo! I know how much harder it is on a "rez". Just stand tall, be strong for you and those that DO love you, and set a good example. He is a discredit to his people, and don't think they don't know it.
GL!
This next part is meant to be supportive, not to in any way to create a political argument. But I think it is important to say:
It is not necessarily harder on a rez, it can be just as bad anywhere else where there is a small, tight-knit community, or where one is isolated, even in a large city. We have to be careful not to paint ourselves as native people as "having it harder than anyone else" because that's like asking the spirits to make it harder. I think that how hard it is depends somewhat upon how much support you have from others. If you have family and friends whom you can trust, especially elders, then you can be very strong living on or nearby a rez. There is wisdom there on the red road. I miss my friends from the rez and surrounding communities so, so much. I wish I could be with my circle of people who supported me, making me strong enough to leave my abuser.
I am so sorry, you are hurting so bad.
You so deserve to be happy and that is what I wish for you.
You will get there, and I hope it will be sooner rather than later.
Sending tons of support and bunches of hugs.
I don't think "abuse" knows ANY boundries. No matter where we are, we are all going through, or have gone through the same things. We're all just "human", in the end.
(& we all bleed red! ) {{hugz}}