Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
After 6 years together, I have decided that it's no use, I will be abused until the day I die, and I need to end it now. I have come to realize that our marriage cannot be saved.
The problem is the feelings of guilt that I have.
He has no family or friends here in Cleveland, his family is in Illinois. We have only 1 car, and it's in my name. My parents bought the car for me, and his driver's license is suspended, so he can't get plates for any car. The only place I can go to is my parent's house (can't go to a shelter because I have an autistic child, and he cannot handle that situation).
So, I feel bad leaving him with no car to get around with and no family or friends around to help him get on his feet.
But part of me feels like he brought this upon himself. HE beat me. HE called me a whore everyday. HE taught my son to call me those names. HE is the one who abuses ME.
WHY DO I FEEL SO GUILTY??? Is there any hope for me? Any suggestions?
The problem is the feelings of guilt that I have.
He has no family or friends here in Cleveland, his family is in Illinois. We have only 1 car, and it's in my name. My parents bought the car for me, and his driver's license is suspended, so he can't get plates for any car. The only place I can go to is my parent's house (can't go to a shelter because I have an autistic child, and he cannot handle that situation).
So, I feel bad leaving him with no car to get around with and no family or friends around to help him get on his feet.
But part of me feels like he brought this upon himself. HE beat me. HE called me a whore everyday. HE taught my son to call me those names. HE is the one who abuses ME.
WHY DO I FEEL SO GUILTY??? Is there any hope for me? Any suggestions?
The hope you need now is hope for a happier future. When you feel sorry for him,remember,he doesn't love you enough to stop the abuse.
Protect yourself and your son. You husband is on his own. Look forward. Good Luck!
Yes..I know where you are coming from. I feel bad for my STBX and I should not.
Tunnel vision...take that car..leave. He cries, KNOW he is the one responsible for not having a car.
If he acted appropriately you would not be forced to take such a drastic measure.
His birth mother passed away due to complications from AIDS last year. But the rest of his family lives in Illinois, just outside of St. Louis. We moved here to be closer to my family after our son was born.
That brings up another guilt trip he's given- he says he gave up his family to make me happy. (We still talk to his family weekly and visit them) And I never asked him to give anything up for me. We had to leave Illinois because there's a warrant for his arrest as a result of him hitting me and the neighbors called the police. Long story with that though....
His dad is trying to talk to him, sending him emails and calling him, but my husband won't listen. He thinks he has done nothing wrong. He won't take his dad's advice... *sigh*
OMG! I honestly had never thought about it that way! And, now that I look back, you're right. He never wanted to even visit Cleveland, then after he dodged the police, he was all for moving here! Wow... It's amazing the things you realize when you get outside opinions...
I came here to be me. and when I die, I wont it to be me that is judged.