Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I know this is the only place I can vent and people will understand without making me feel stupid. I was in a emotionally abusive relationship for 7 yrs. Well me and him have a son together and because he was the way he is i have kept my son away from him. We talk but we never really see each other because I dont like being around him. He has only seen my son twice. Im scared to be around him but I still love him and still want to talk to him. I still want him to call and show that he cares about us. Well the other day we got into a huge argument because he wanted me to come see him because he was going through some stuff and needed me he just wanted my presence. Well everything came to a head I told him I wasnt coming and he threw a huge fit. He said f**k you. He told me well since I cant be around yall that must not be my child. You wont let me see him so he is not mine. He told me to find someone else to take care of us. Like he EVER gave me anything for my son. He said some very hurtful things. He called me a hoe. It was horrible. He told me he deleted my number but he kept calling me.Then I felt like I was in the wrong and started begging him to not go. He fed into that and kept saying hurtful things cause he knew i was hurting. It was like he liked the fact that I was begging him not to go. After everything and all the hurtful things he said. he text me and tells me if you wanna talk you need to come to my house right now if you dont do it tonight we are done for good. Well I didnt go. So we are no longer talking but after all is said and done I am depressed and crying and feel so lost right now. He is all I know but he is so not good for me. He is very manipulating, controlling,mean! I just need help to get through this I cant keep going in this same cycle. How do i get off this roller coaster!?
hugs to you.
big, fat, squishy hugs.
are you in counseling or therapy?????
I was lucky, in that I grew to hate and fear my abuser, so when I left (2 months ago) it was with relief. I had stopped loving him nearly 3 years before.
I don't know how you women do it who are still in love with their abusers...
I guess I don't have a lot of good, solid advice.
stick close to the people who are good for and to you.
keep yourself busy.
have you tried Eilleens index card exercise?
it's where you buy a pack of index cards, and you sit and write every single incidence of abuse that he has done to you.
if he always pinched you, don't just do one that says 'he always pinched me', try to do one for every single time that you can recall..
the more you write these things down, the thicker the stack becomes. you can see the abuse filling up physical space.
every mean word he ever called you. every time he scared you, or made you feel small.
every time you remember something, write it down..you'd be surprised by the repressed memories that pop up.
then, when you are missing him, you can sit down and read these cards and remind yourself that this is why you are no longer with him.
and remember too, that there is trauma bonding..stockholm syndrome...
chemical reasons why we are still 'addicted' to these abusers...
good luck, and keep reading, keep posting..
A highly qualified therapist
can be of enormous help.
If you do not have to speak to him, then honestly just don't. It is not easy.....but in the long run, it's the only way to completely get off the ride.
NO CONTACT....
You've made giant steps toward getting your life back under YOUR control. Cutting off contact has stopped his control over you and that upsets him. Keep doing what you are doing.
You will get stronger and stronger now that he isn't draining your emotional energy daily.
If you facebook please don't put any details of how you are feeling etc. because a mutual friend will without a doubt be guilted by him for information. I also would NOT accept any new fb friends during this process because abusers go to crazy lengths to keep tabs aka control of you.
Abusers are like a child throwing a trantrum when they don't get their way, don't give in to his childishness. You CAN do this!
I had a relationship on and off for 7-8 years, same type of thing.
I can NOT TALK to this man anymore. I avoid all contact at all costs, because I still love him, and I got sucked back in each time. It is hard when you love someone, you have history, youve been through so much, things get better for awhile, etc.
But they dont. They always come back around. Do not see him, do not speak to him at all. Don't even listen to his messages. It's really for the best. For you and your son. For your healing, your future, your growth. It will get better.
;)