Read my reply in Seeing your victim with someone else.

No it is not normal. And your "friend" is not your friend. In my opinion...my friends would never hurt me or do something like that because they are MY FRIENDS. I don't associate with people like that.

As for jealousy...You are hurt. Understandable. Sometimes when we go through these things with our ex's we have to clean house of the people who are toxic for us.

Your friend should know better. Since she is and advocate. But I do feel very strongly about the fact that there are a lot of very unqualified therapists/advocates out there.

I meant to say...Seeing them with their new victim...sorry!

I am so sorry you feel bad, baby, I hope the feeling passes soon.
You deserve so much better than this. Please love yourself first!!

I agree totally with Beaten. Friends absolutely do not do that.

Abusers do that, all the time. They can not feel love or pain like a normal person. They just move on to their next victim.
Sending a ton of support and bunches of hugs!!!

I hope you can let go of this guy and he is probably trying to make you jealous by hitting on your friends and people he knows you are close to. If they are taking the bait then beaten is right they are not your friends either. Yep clean house and get rid of the bad people and in time your feelings will change for the better. I have those feelings here and there too its a normal part of healing and getting over a bad relationship I think. I just know that it is going to take time to heal and move on totally. Give yourself a chance and your feelings will change. One day you wont care at all anymore.

well i went to the center and gave her my story in person. she is claiming that she told him to leave her alone and not text her. but i still think she took the bait. i just gave her my documentation and left. she going to talk to te clinic tomorrow so i can get my neck checked. and i going to talk to my nieghbors to get a safety plan in place in case i get trapped in my own house.
hopefully she took my story as a big warning. she said she turned him into the cops for sexual harrassment.but like i told her he has peole all over that go along and clean up his little messes and the victim pays.
but i feel hope that my documentation will help someone in the future.
i was so scared someone would see me. and then i remembered his aunt now works as the director of our local victims of crime. ugh! that really sucked for me. but all i wanted was documentation. not to roc tje boat. so to speak.
crimes of passion. that is what this is called right?
k im rambling again.

Crimes "of passion" are still crimes. You are doing the right thing. As for who is taking the bait and who is not - don't believe everything you hear. Just try to ride it out and pretend you really don't give a flying what he's up to or with whom. I know that's hard, but it's the best way to get him to stop. And eventually, I really do hope you WON'T care what he's up to or with whom.

"Do friends do this to each other? do they go out with your exes? is that normal?"
NO, NO and NO!
Friends don't betray each other and that is what you have described, betrayal. And family going out with an ex?! That's an even bigger betrayal!
You know anyone who claims to be your friend or a caring family member who chooses to go out with your ex deserves exactly what she gets and unless she is just a sleaze that wants to sleep with him, she will get hurt too. Back away, back away and just watch the train wreck!
i'm sorry that he has wormed his way into the life of someone you thought you could trust. Time now to distance and detach yourself from her. Those that refuse his advances are loyal and worthy of your care and friendship.

Oh and jealousy? You know what they are getting. What is there to be jealous of?

you guys are right and thank you for letting me vent and write and cry and shout and have the feelings I need to so I can get over him.
its hard getting support locally since Its been a yo yo relationship. Everyone has said, yeah right.
Only because I haven't told everyone locally what is going on. i did a 3rd person story on fb. someone fb me back, but I told them it was a story not about me, just to bring awareness that abuse does happen. I wish I could be vocal about him, but with the circumstances and social status of his family. This is as far as I am willing to go.
I still yet haven't went to the clinic yet, I know I need to, but I am still scared out of my wits.
the last advocate I went with, she escorted me everywhere. I felt safe, but I am left on my own with this one. It sucks. I still think she is buying his bs.
So I tried to make a walk in today and they were all full. So i have to wait until tomorrow.
I hate this feeling of not feeling secure. I couldn't sleep last night I stayed up until 3:30 this morning wondering, thinking, crying, every emotion I could think of.
I get a lot of triggers.
out of the blue she text me "have a fantabulous evenin :-)"
It gave me a big trigger, and I think that is what sent me into my worrying and sleepness night.
Ideas anyone I am thoughtless right now. I think its all starting to become a reality. I am helpless right now.
Its crazy other people go through it and I give advice up the wall, I go through the same thing and I can't even think past the next minute. i am barely functioning, I come to work, and go home and wander aimlessly and almost like a mechanical robot most of the time. Self care: shower, comb hair, brush teeth, lotion, oh im hungry eat, not hungry, what should I eat? no taste,
kids talk to me and I really am trying to listen but again I am looking at them and feel so disconnected. I even tell them I am sorry mommy is just not with it lately. I tell them, I am sad and I am trying to pay attention. They understand, though they shouldn't have to so I push my sadness aside and smile, and make myself pay attn.
How do I reach out for help? I am the one everyone literally depends on. I am the one who everyone gets rides from. I am the one who everyone borrows money from. I am the one who is the sober one, the strong one. How do I tell these ones who depend on me I am not strong right now. How do I say this woman needs help. I don't want to tell them this is what I am going through, this is what he did to me, because I don't want anyone to go after him.
I know I should reach out to my family and tell them I was abused, but they all know that already. They just don't know about this one incident.
So I better get busy with my project. Thanks guys for the encouragement.

Please consider going to therapy w/a therapist who deals with PTSD & abuse (someone away from the shelter). It would give you someone just for you who believes you and who can help you learn how to set & keep boundaries. I know it's hard, but it's time to start telling people NO! That is a critical part of self care.

You also need to be able to tell your whole story. Since they already know most of it, please tell your family about the incident. They could be your biggest allies and help you & your kids get away when you are ready.

Since the shelter isn't being all that much help, maybe you could contact a shelter outside of your city where they don't know of him.

In the meantime, take good care of you & keep posting here.

Sending you hugs & positive energy.