Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I'm feeling more and more like I will never really be independent and able to keep a job and take care of myself. I've had anxiety and depression since such a young age, I've been diagnosed with major depression. There are days i can't take care of myself. I go for days without bathing. I hardly eat. I've had jobs in the past. But even after a short time (a few weeks) it is hard to concentrate, i become overwhelmed, and i become so depressed i call out of work. I eventually quit because I just can't physically bring myself to go in because I am so tired. Interacting with others is so demanding.
I've never had my own home, i've never lived on my own, i can't drive, i have a hard time finishing projects. There are days I don't want to do things anymore like drawing, knitting, reading, play video games. Some days are better than others but even interacting and socializing that one day will knock me out the next day or two. I am on medication. If i didn't have meds i would be at my worst every day with anxiety as well.
I also have physical problems that aren't related to depression. (most likely neurological in nature) that affect me even on my best days. Currently going through testing for that. It's also depressing to have physical problems and you don't know why.
My physical and mental problems make it feel even more like i can't take care of myself (on top of the mental immaturity and lack of social and life skills).
I'm sorry for the rant-ish post. It's hard when you realize how much you've been emotionally and mentally stunted by emotional abuse in childhood.
I've never had my own home, i've never lived on my own, i can't drive, i have a hard time finishing projects. There are days I don't want to do things anymore like drawing, knitting, reading, play video games. Some days are better than others but even interacting and socializing that one day will knock me out the next day or two. I am on medication. If i didn't have meds i would be at my worst every day with anxiety as well.
I also have physical problems that aren't related to depression. (most likely neurological in nature) that affect me even on my best days. Currently going through testing for that. It's also depressing to have physical problems and you don't know why.
My physical and mental problems make it feel even more like i can't take care of myself (on top of the mental immaturity and lack of social and life skills).
I'm sorry for the rant-ish post. It's hard when you realize how much you've been emotionally and mentally stunted by emotional abuse in childhood.
hang in there.
I have GAD and sometimes I get so anxious I call out of work too. I guess thats why Im still at a retail store (less responsibility). Ive even explained to my boss my situation and I was lucky she was very understanding about it. I write this to say: you arent alone in your feelings or reactions! Life can be overwhelming and sometimes we need to take it one day at a time!
I have a close friend who is clinically depressed. We lean on each other a lot when we feel we are having episodes. Do you have anyone close you feel you can lean on? We also use the buddy system a lot of the time also. For example when I know she hasnt been outside in days I will go to her house and try to get her to go to the movies or even a walk around her area just so we can both be outside. Shes gone with my to job interviews when I feel the most anxious (waits in a coffee shop nearby).
Seeing a therapist is also a great tool. It can be slow going though. I know we all want it to work miracles sometimes. I hope some of this was helpful!
I made choices based on who I thought I was. I'd say that's true for everyone really. I didn't start to make choices that empowered me until I realized what I had been telling myself all this time was a lie. I had to start telling myself something different (my self-talk) to make choices that would strengthen me. There have also been times when I've had to act first and hope the feelings would follow (they usually did).
In recent months I've also had many days where I just didn't even feel like showering. I surmised "who cares?" but I also realize that when I don't take care of myself I am essentially telling myself my low worth. I need to get myself in the shower even if I won't see anyone that day (I work from home).
A person's self-talk is extremely important. What things do you find yourself saying internally a lot? Think about what you're thinking about. Take a moment to sit and tell yourself a few sentences starting with "I can"....Even this small step will help you get a better momentum.
I just watched this a few days ago. There are several parts to it if you want to watch it all. I found a lot of truth in it. She talks about how to move past your past.
http://lifetoday.org/video/moving-past-your-past-part-1/
I'm sorry you are struggling fifteen. I can relate to the funk you are expressing. :-( Hugs!!!
But, I guess my point is that even though we have been dealt a bad hand, we must just go on.
Forums like this help. There are people that do understand what you're going through. I know life isn't the happy one that the stupid commercials portray. Please, that is bullshit. We live in the real world and struggle everyday. Again, you are not alone and I think you are strong. So please don't be hard on yourself.