Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Kenyah 12/04/2016

Now that I am no longer with my abusive husband I can't seem to let him go. It is times when I think about going back to him, but I know he is not right for me. I love the good things that took place in our relationship. I know deep down inside he is not right for me and I also feel like I will never find love again. We have children together and I don't want to keep them away from their father.

Gladdmatt 12/04/2016

Abusive spouses do something called "learned helplessness" to their victims. They chip away at your self-confidence and belief that you can make yourself happy and have a good life without them. That way, they take control of you. Congrats on having the courage and wisdom to leave him. But in a sense he's "brainwashed" you into thinking you can't live without him. IMHO you would benefit from talk therapy and/or a support group for survivors of domestic abuse. You may have to deal with him because of your children, but you can try to arrange this so it is kept to a minimum, perhaps with a third party always present. I will pray for you.

Kenyah 12/04/2016

Thank you for your advice. I needed that!!!

h.e.a.l. 12/04/2016

I totally agree with
Gladdmatt. Therapy
has been a good thing
for many of us, here on
the forum.

Sending you hugs
and wishes for
healing and better
days ahead.

Kenyah 12/04/2016

Thank you so much I need all the support I can get!!

AllieKitty 12/06/2016

Are you currently in therapy or would consider seeing a therapist? Perhaps you have trouble letting him go and are focusing on the good times because you have attachment issues that haven't been resolved. You will find love one day if you take care of yourself and are open to meeting new people. How was your relationship with your parents? You absolutely did the right thing and are very brave and strong for protecting yourself and your children. Legally, do you share custody or is he allowed visitation? Sending you positive energy.

ladykch 12/13/2016

I've been struggling with this exact thing. I started therapy and my first homework assignment has been to read THE EMOTIONALLY DESTRUCTIVE MARRIAGE by Leslie Vernick. I've been separated since August and the divorce still isn't final. He comes back and will be so very nice and then become ugly quick...especially in front of people. I blocked him from my phone and then he began emailing me. He would be nice again and I would unblock him....then the pattern repeats. It makes you feel like you are going crazy.

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