Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I feel terrible. Idk if it's the abuse manipulation talking or i'm just a bad person. This is a stupid story but i need to share it. I'm 17 and my parents are pretty abusive. Anyway i had gone to bed and was asleep when my mom woke me up and asked where my dad's nail clippers were. I had used them that day and had to rush out the door. I told her to look a few places and fell back asleep. She came back sounding nasty and asked if I had any other ideas. I got out of bed. I was mad to tell the truth. She just couldn't be nice about it. I found them in short order in the bathroom. Plunked them back where they belonged. i neglected to tell anybody bc i was mad and went back to bed. Then my dad started yelling and cursing me and saying how ungrateful I was. I don't know what to do, i'm tired and i'm probably a terrible ungrateful person but i'm also sick of not being cared about....sorry for this story. I just needed to get it out
To me, the fact that they woke you up to ask you about this and then continued to curse you after you went back to bed sounds like there is already a boundary issue which is always prevalent in abusive situations!
Keep coming in here to discuss your problems as well. We are all here to talk. Its great that you are so young and realise that the way they treat you is not right. It took me a long time to figure this out. I just blamed myself and called myself a rebel even though my teachers mostly all loved me, i did excellently at school, and had a lot of friends. So I'm not sure why I took it all on myself. If you would like to share more about the way they treat you in here, please feel free to do that!
Take care sunflower!!!
that you were basically
venting so maybe you're
not looking for input.
As I recall, you wrote
that you were accepted
into the college where
you were hoping to go
after high school, so
you have plans for
the future.
While you still live
with your abusive
parents, try to keep
as low a profile as
you're able. One
day (I hope sooner
than later), you won't
be living with them.
While you are,
try to think of
them as silly
or damaged
people, rather
than people
who attack you.
Getting set up
with a counselor
would be a very
good thing to
add to resources
that support you
while you're still
there.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
better days,
sooner than
later.
From my experience, the only thing to do is to make plans to get out!
Also, try to get into therapy... I know I made a lot of messed up decisions from 18-35 based upon my crappy childhood. I want so much better for you.
Learn to know what's in your control and have the self-love to make the best decisions... don't sabotage yourself because your parents abused you.
I crammed a lot in a few sentences, so I hope what I said makes sense.
Hugs.
People are going to put things back in the wrong place from time to time, that's a part of living with other people.
It doesn't seem very kind to wake up a sleeping person for a such an unimportant thing as the finger nail clippers. So that's a wrong.
Feeling angry when someone wakes us up for a petty reason is normal, but if you knew they were looking for the clippers it would have been KINS to holler, I found them! by putting them back and NOT telling them, you were not being kind and/or punishing THEM for not being kind...
Do you see the way that starts a vicious cycle? Just because they started it, doesn't give you a green light to do wrong as well.
You could solve the problem by leaving home... but then you would loose all the good things your parents have to offer. I'm assuming they do have good points?
You are the one who must decide for yourself.
BUT!! Do yourself a favor and conduct yourself by being a kind and compassionate person even when people aren't treating you well. Don't do it for them. Do it for yourself!
Good luck
sunflower, your parents started this vicious cycle, not you. There is never an excuse for being abusive.
It is the parents' responsibility for how they treat their children, NOT the child's. Based on my memory of your previous posts, I suspect that even if you did everything they said in the way they said to do it and acted in the way they wanted you to, they would still find fault with you. It sounds like you have been made the family "scapegoat."
Here is a good explanation of the "scapegoat" dynamics and some explanations as to why it happens. https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/toxic-families-who-scapegoat/
It's hard behave in healthy ways when we don't have positive role models, and in this specific situation, when we are awakened in an abusive manner.
A qualified trauma release therapist who has additional training in the dynamics and effects of abuse can help you heal the trauma and teach you to be your own loving & nurturing parent. S/he can also help you learn healthy coping skills when having to deal w/your parents & other dysfunctional people you will encounter during your life.
~healing hugs~