Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
The year of 2008 my emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend gave me a very beautiful expensive engagement ring. We had only been together a few months. I became physically intimate with him.
Our entire relationship lasted a total of 17 months, with about 8 break-ups in between there, because it was very rocky.
He was extremely picky, demanding, consescending, and critical of me. He said that I needed to dress a lot sexier/competetive with other women, he said that my car and purse were messy, that I needed to have my hair cut more stylish, that I needed to take more classes, that I needed to cook better, clean more, work on our relationship more, that he wasn't sure he liked my family, that I needed to have more friends, be a responsible adult, that his life had become unmanageable because of me, that I needed to be more social in public with him, etc.!!
To make it worse, he spent his spare time talking bad about me to his family, friends, and therapist.
I jumped through all of his hoops like a little poodle dog. I really believed that we were going to be married, that I was going to be his wife, and I wanted to become the perfect dream woman for him... even
though he would rant and rage and smash things, all talking about how I'm not good enough, I really need to improve on this or that.
THEN, he goes on an ocean cruise with his work. He goes from calling me 10 times a day to calling me zero times a day. When I finally reach him on the phone, he is mumbling about another woman, and says that he is taking a vacation from our arguments.
He arrives home two weeks later. He tells me to get everything out of his apartment, that he is moving to a house across town, and I cannot be on the lease. He shows me pictures of the woman on the cruise with him, and told me he flirted with her the whole time. He says he wants to date other women, like a dance instructor he recently met, he even wants to date his ex-girlfriend, he wants to go to wine bars by himself to explore, he does not want to be with me, he writes me a letter saying that we are incompatible.
After 17 months of being together, me and the ex-boyfriend go no contact. I have not seen or heard from him in any way for exactly two years. I avoid him, he obviously avoids me.
Two years later, I feel pain and heartache. I have been suffering, from the toll of his emotional abuse. I don't know what to make of it all, except the engagement ring really seems to be a symbol of some kind. I feel like he used the ring to gain my trust, and use, abuse, and abandon me. He wouldn't even let me wear the ring b/c he said he did not have insurance for it yet. lol. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.
Our entire relationship lasted a total of 17 months, with about 8 break-ups in between there, because it was very rocky.
He was extremely picky, demanding, consescending, and critical of me. He said that I needed to dress a lot sexier/competetive with other women, he said that my car and purse were messy, that I needed to have my hair cut more stylish, that I needed to take more classes, that I needed to cook better, clean more, work on our relationship more, that he wasn't sure he liked my family, that I needed to have more friends, be a responsible adult, that his life had become unmanageable because of me, that I needed to be more social in public with him, etc.!!
To make it worse, he spent his spare time talking bad about me to his family, friends, and therapist.
I jumped through all of his hoops like a little poodle dog. I really believed that we were going to be married, that I was going to be his wife, and I wanted to become the perfect dream woman for him... even
though he would rant and rage and smash things, all talking about how I'm not good enough, I really need to improve on this or that.
THEN, he goes on an ocean cruise with his work. He goes from calling me 10 times a day to calling me zero times a day. When I finally reach him on the phone, he is mumbling about another woman, and says that he is taking a vacation from our arguments.
He arrives home two weeks later. He tells me to get everything out of his apartment, that he is moving to a house across town, and I cannot be on the lease. He shows me pictures of the woman on the cruise with him, and told me he flirted with her the whole time. He says he wants to date other women, like a dance instructor he recently met, he even wants to date his ex-girlfriend, he wants to go to wine bars by himself to explore, he does not want to be with me, he writes me a letter saying that we are incompatible.
After 17 months of being together, me and the ex-boyfriend go no contact. I have not seen or heard from him in any way for exactly two years. I avoid him, he obviously avoids me.
Two years later, I feel pain and heartache. I have been suffering, from the toll of his emotional abuse. I don't know what to make of it all, except the engagement ring really seems to be a symbol of some kind. I feel like he used the ring to gain my trust, and use, abuse, and abandon me. He wouldn't even let me wear the ring b/c he said he did not have insurance for it yet. lol. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.
Self-care is the antidote to
all kinds of unhappiness
and imbalance. Practice
it to the best of your ability.
Even factoring in your pain and heartache,
please know that you are far better off
without this loser/abuser, than you
would be with him.
My thoughts and wishes are with you.
Sending you hugs and prayers
for healing and recovery.