Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Emotionally Destroyed

orangeblast95
orangeblast95

Hello Everyone,


I am in a very bad place because I found out that my girlfriend at the time cheated on me after dating for almost two years. This has destroyed my self-esteem and confidence in getting another because I am deeply afraid of getting involved with another woman and being cheated on once again after treating them the way they should be treated because I value women because they deserve the same respect as much or more than men do. I need help with getting my confidence back because I am not able to sleep or eat properly. 

remilove
remilove
The most important thing to remember is that time heals all wounds. I don't think that you need to worry about who you'll find next. You need to worry about taking care of yourself. I know this is probably a painful and difficult time for you. But there will come a time when you're ready to trust again. There will come a person who makes you feel they are worthy of your trust. You don't need to open yourself back up right away. People need time to heal from scars, especially emotional ones.
orangeblast95
orangeblast95
Remilove, I am trying to take care of myself again but it is very difficult because I really miss her company and love her when she was faithful to me. I am trying to keep myself busy by doing tasks around the house and keeping myself busy with college. I am worried about myself but also her because I never thought she would do such a horrible thing to me and want to know why she truly did this.
MyTrueColors
MyTrueColors
You may never know why she did what she did. You didn't say whether or not you were in an abusive relationship. Either way, when we cannot let go of a relationship, whether it was abusive or not, it is time to get some therapy. Therapy will help you move thru the grieving process and know that the closure has to come from within you and has nothing to do with why she did what she did. Therapy will also help you rebuild your self-confidence & self-esteem as well as learn to trust your inner knowing above all others and learn how to set and keep healthy boundaries. Mostly therapy should help you to fall in love with yourself above all others. We cannot have a healthy loving relationship with another person if we don't first have that with ourselves.

In addition to therapy, its critical (as remilove said) to practice self-care. With all due respect to remilove, unfortunately, time does NOT heal all wounds, especially when those wounds are caused by the trauma of abuse. It just buries them deep inside where, when triggered, they will continue to haunt and hurt you. Finding a therapist who uses modalities that have healing components in each session is critical to healing.

Please give yourself the gift of healing and allow however much time it takes. Healing takes a concerted effort, but its well worth it.
~healing hugs~