I recently read the post about the narcissistic abuser, and so many of the qualities described my husband to the letter. I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells around him. I'm afraid to tell him things (like I received approval from my director to go to a work conference. he'll flip out if he learns that a coworker of mine who he is unnecessarily jealous of was also approved to go) for fear of the reaction that will result. yet it's my fault for "being too flirtatious or suggestive" and "dressing too provocatively". I'm so sick of the endless accusations. It seems that we have an argument about something and it's "resolved", then 3 days later he gets mad again, and brings it up all over again. I feel like I'm rehashing the same stuff over and over and over. I can't get ahead with him.

Thhings are always fine as long as I'm complying with his every whim. But if I say I don't want to do something, or if I do something that he feels is out of line, it's hell to pay.

Case in point: We have a Kindle electronic book device that we share (at least that's how it was presented to me) and he would always put it with my stuff so I could read it on my commute. I took the Kindle to work with me yesterday, as I frequently have in the past and he flipped out! He sent me a text message asking if I had it, and I said "Yes, I do. Is that okay?" After that, I got about 10 rapid-fire text messages telling me that it was not ok and he doesn't take my stuff, and yada-yada. I apologized, and meant it, and I told him that I'd buy my own. I feel that it's childish and silly to fight over this incident. Well, that spurred a HUGE argument where he put me down, etc. He asked me for my bank account logon. I told him that I'd give it to him as soon as he gave me his. All of you who go through similar stuff know what that did to him. Set him off even worse! He got right in my face to try to intimidate me. For a minute I was afraid he'd grab or hit me (he's pushed me down once). He walked away, then said that he knew what he had to do... he started looking for apartments on craigslist. All the while, our 4 year old is right there b/c I was putting him in the tub. This argument continued and he started saying that everything he buys is with HIS money and earnings. OK - great... does that mean that all the money I contribute goes toward our savings? And the argument continued. he sees me as the cause of every problem that he has and he made sure that I knew that he "has lots of friends who want to be around him, is in the PRIME OF HIS LIFE, and will be absolutely fine, and rich without me". I told him that he may be a little too independent to be married. he told me to get the F out. He also told me he'd battle me to the end and he wants full custody of our son. (I think he says that b/c he knows it will get to me) I think that it's pitiful that he's using our son to try to manipulate me in this way. It's hard for me not to let this happen because I love my son so much, and don't want him to be in the middle of things. My son told me last night that he'd try really hard not to get mad like his daddy when he's a grown up. My husband says that I'm trying to turn our son against him, and that's not true. He's doing it on his own. Just needed to vent, and a listening ear.