Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

5,836 Members

27,933 Posts

1 Online

currentstruggle 03/04/2016

Does anyone feel like they're turning into their abusers?
A couple of days ago, I was cleaning out my room. I had no alcohol, and although I was using amazing coping techniques, I still felt sick. I found a bottle of Morphine 60 MGs. I tried. I really tried to throw it out. I couldn't.
To my dismay, the morphine hardly works on me. But I still have found it to be somewhat of a relief.
When I wake up in the morning, I not only get sick, but I get SO agitated and angry for no reason. Like, I will snap at anyone or anything in my way. Just because I can. And it makes me feel like I'm turning into my violent Father who was an alcoholic. (And caused so much distress in my life.)
It makes me feel ill to know I'm starting to emulate my Father. Does anyone else have experience with this sort of thing?

MyTrueColors 03/04/2016

I remember saying that I didn't like who I was when I was w/the abuser. It took 6 yrs in intense therapy and the right kind of therapy to start healing the reactive me and get back to the real me. I'm still not healed yet, but when I get triggered, I can usually handle it w/the tools I learned and I know who I can reach out to for help when it's 'too big' for me to handle alone.

I would bet that you are angry for a reason. it's just buried deep inside. And anything can trigger it for what seems like no reason. But there is. It's called trauma.

If I remember correctly, you were having trouble finding a therapist who you couldn't outsmart. Please keep looking. Finding a therapist who has the right modalities and understands how abuse & trauma feed into addiction is key, IMHO.

~healing hugs~

currentstruggle 03/04/2016

I actually almost contacted someone, but talked myself out of it. I got negative and cynical. I told myself I'd outsmart this one too. There's no harm in trying. I think I'm going to actually reach out to their office this time. I need to get ahold on my trauma.
Thank you for sharing your experience. If you're on a journey to healing, there's no reason why I shouldn't be too.

Join the Conversation