Odds are yes he will continue this behavior and it won't matter what is going right in his life something will always set him off. I am sorry but that is my opinion and experience.

God Bless you

Yes, he will always be controlling and abusive. You can count on that. Life is always full of ups and downs, even when everything is "on track."

What happens with abusive men, is because their "reality" is one that is centered on themselves, where they are the "perfect" one, everything that happens is done FOR him or TO him. Nobody else matters. Control of this nature is addictive, so the more "in control" they are, the more they want to be more in control, if that makes any sense. This causes the abuse to escallate.

Even if he gets "on his feet" financially, there will be other things tha get in his way of getting all that he wants, so these thn become his excuse to abuse. My guess is that since he is probably blaming everybody and everything but himself for his troubles, he will have a hard time getting on his feet because he gets too much satisfaction from his little "pity parties." I causes the focus to turn on him and has everyone come running to him with aid. Without realizing it, you are probably enabling this behavior because it is not safe for you to do anything else.

Your best option, and probably one you don't want to hear, is to leave him, cut your losses and find someone else who will treat you like you deserve to be treaed. I know that this is easier said than done, so if you decide to do this and want our support, then just ask. Those of us who have done it can give you suggestions and moral support when the time comes and times get tough. If you want to stick it out and see if things change, you need to know that he WILL NOT CHANGE his behavior without serious intervention, and even with significant counseling and work on his part and yours, the chances are a bleak 3% or less that he ever will become anything but an abusive and controlling man.

You are in the right place for help and insight. We are all here for each other, so let us know what help you need.

Are the problems with his finances due to something deeper? gambling or drug use maybe? just a thought, the others are right though, behaviour will continue.

uh yeah.. unfortunately, its going to continue. Time to leave.

You deserve to be treated well no matter what his financial situation is. He should respect you and treat you well no matter what's happening in his life. His behavior is rude and unhealthy. You deserve better. *hugs*

There is no future with this guy. You are not always going to be in a place where you are comfortable financially. If his life does have an upswing, it will always have a downswing. That's where the true measure of a man is. Sounds like he measures in millimeters, rather than feet or miles.

The problem is..you will begin to live for the moments when he is good..and relate them to circumstances, but in time, you'll realise that the goalposts keep changing, and you won't be able to work out what 'makes' him behave well, and what doesn't..Like others said..money comes and goes..lots of money puts most people in good form...but doesn't mean that we treat anyone better or worse, with or without it...

If you hanging on until he has plenty of money all the time..to treat you the way you deserve..you'll be tossed around and hurt and disappointed over and over...

You do deserve to be treated well..all the time...Not just when hes on a money high..

The chances are he won't change..and your only option will be to leave, if you don't want to live your life, being abused on and off..forever more..

sweetie-pie..kick him to the curb before kids are involved...GET OUT!!!

WEll if things are good sometimes and not at others and right now it is all due to just fanances?? Well first of all he needs to learn to control his finances so that there is never a problem with all of thet. But second it will escalate to where other things will effect him and it will increase as time goes on. You do not deserve this emotional rollercoaster at all. You do not seserve to notknwo what mood he is going to be in from one day to the next. Everyone is entiled to their modds but not to the extreme where they are physically and emotionally abusive to another human being because this shows that he does not reguard others as humans but rather objects.

Think very hard about your relationship. And try to see if it is all worth it. You are a beautiful person and there are much better out there. ANd it is a happer life. But at the same time you have to ultimatly make that realization and decidion...

Ask yourself, would YOU be verbally abusive if you were struggling? I doubt it. Especially not to someone who cares about you and is trying to help. It's just yet another tired old excuse for bad behavior.

Here's an abbreviated time line of my marriage of 18 years...
He's under stress because: it is his first duty station
it is his first "real" duty station
he is always going on ftx's(field training exercises)
he is in his first leadership position
he is getting ready to deploy
we got married,
he's deploying
he's home
I'm pregnant
I'm morning sick like crazy
We have a baby
He's studying for the LSAT
He's applying for the FLEP
He's applying for law school
He's going to law school
I'm pregnant
for the next 2 years- constant law school
Well, you get the idea, every kid, every new duty station, every job change, every pt test, every thing- big or small- puts him under "stress" and he takes out on me and the kids. He sent me out to get gas in HIS car the other day because he was just too frazzled from work.

My point is that even after he wins a gazillion dollars in the lottery he will still find something to get stressed out about and you will always be the one he takes it out on.

Him having financial problems is ABSOLUTELY no reason for him to treat you that way. My husband was good to me, too, a lot of the time. But the majority of the time he was terrible, severely emotionally abusive. Even if everything in his life was absolutely perfect, he would find another reason to be abusive; there will always be SOMETHING. The best thing you can do is get away from him, and STAY away. He'll beg and plead and tell you he'll change and be better and blah blah blah, and maybe he will for a little while. But things will go back to the way they were, they always do. Trust me sweetheart, the best thing you can do for yourself is to get the fuck out, NOW. I wish you all the luck in the world, I know how hard it is to leave; it's one of the hardest things in the world. BE STRONG!! YOU DESERVE BETTER!

Do not marry him! Get out while you can. He will continue this cycle and waiting around for him to change is exhausting and takes away your life.

He'll carry on I think.Whatever you let him get away with,no bf of mine has ever treated me like he is treating you.But my dad did my mum and he broke her bones and so much more during the 14years they were together,I remember the good times when he just abused her verbally,I remember the great times when we had money,then I remember the times I will only say in pms for fear of triggering others.Be careful babe x

i was in a relationship like that for a few years he will most likely stay that way because its part of him dont hope for him to change it never works do what makes u happy not some one els

hugsx