As I understand it, PTSD is the term given to the continued stress we suffer after a traumatic event / situation. In your case, you're living the same trauma every day and becoming more and more confused and worn down by it.

Don't listen to him when he tells you things will be worse for you if you leave him. It won't! Also, after 25 years of marriage, he won't get to decide what you keep or lose. A Judge would make this decision.

Please empower yourself by paying a visit to your local womens' centre and seeking their support and advice. You don't have to tolerate this man in your life.

Take care and good luck

Thanks for listening to me,I don't talk out loud about this, so it is wonderful to come her to find affirmation and the voices of others that deal with these issues also.In my family and with my friends and my church, I feel like I'm the only one who has a husband like this, and to everyone he seems okay, a little mean,but he is a great provider and everyone thinks he is wonderful to our children.If everyone only knew what we live with at home,and what someone maybe around others can be a very different person when you live with them.

Absolutely.

I can totally relate to the sentence where you said he could just walk into a room and it scares you. Before my h left, he would kind of walk into a room very quietly and startle me, especially after I had just gotten out of the shower and wasn't expecting him to just walk in. A couple of times I would outright scream at the top of my lungs as if a burgler had broken in. It had me convinced I was going mad.

Now I'm convinced this was all part of HIS madness.

Not knowing where in the state you are,
please try one of the two numbers that follow:

800.334.2836)

404.209.0280

You will not lose everything.

But even if you did lose
some material things,
you will regain and reclaim
your spirit, your dignity and
your self-worth.

Please get support for
rebuilding a life that's
free of abuse.

Thanks for your much appreciated advice I will call . I do know that I need to be out of this relationship.

I have been paired up with narcissists all my life, beginning with my mother, then marrying one,and then discovering I was pregnant with his narcissist child after finally deciding to leave him for good. Their emotional abuse is all I have known.. I made a decision recently however, after a really nasty fight that my 23 year old N. daughter who still lived at home, started with me.. I have had enough! It is not easy, if not impossible for those who lack any conscience to feel bad for the damage they do to others.(Mostly those that love them and try to help them), but for those of us with a conscience, and a desire to see change, we end up sacrificing ourselves to help those who only use and abuse us. We throw our lives away on hope that it will get better in time, when all signs are clear that it is progressively getting worse, and we are becoming as sick as they are.
Getting out of this unhealthy, abusive relationship will have it's hardships, and difficulty..but you must think of yourself. You are deserving of a good life, and to live without fear and emotional abuse.
Please take that step for yourself..I pray the Lord guide and direct your steps and give you peace.:)

You will get half of everything.

He's trying to scare you into never leaving.

Everything will be better for you. Not worse.

Things will be different though, and that can be scary.

But I think that after you get over the shock (I should say, 'we', because I'm trying to get myself there as well) you will find that you will feel an amazing sense of peace.

I had a boss who was in an abusive, controlling relationship for over 30 years.

She never had the guts to leave him. Same thing-he told her that she couldn't survive without him. She'd been with him since she ws 15.

He finally died, and I went to see her a few months after.

All I can remember is this sense of calm and peace around her that I had never seen in all those years of knowing him.

She didn't have a lot of money, because they were broke when he died, after being sick for a long time.

But what really stuck out was that she had bought a big yellow rug with yellow roses on it.

And a yellow teapot with matching teacups.

He had hated the colour yellow, and never let her pick out anything that she liked-EVER.

She said that was the strangest feeling buying those items. She kept looking over her shoulder, expecting to get in trouble.

She said that if she never had anything in her life that was good again, it was enough to sip tea out of a yellow cup, and stare at her yellow rose carpet.

And now, she is dating again, at the age of 64, with arthritic hand.

She's dating some hot old gardening man, who spoils her to death and wants to live with her, but she loves having her own tiny apartment and never ever again having to answer to anybody.

Thanks for the support,I so need it right now it has been a bad few days.Feeling all that confusion and fear of what I really want.I seem to do better I think at the first of the week,it's Saturday so a whole day of him ! By Sunday night I'm usually down right depressed! I really want out and away from him so badly,but I do have alot at stake here and we did got through the divorce thing about 2 years ago.But before finalizing everything he decided he wanted to come home and work things out which has not happened.I think I had this great Attorney,and the further we went through the process it just got to the point that I would have much of nothing and he would get our assests We don't have any money that I know about, we just have property we can not sell .I felt very ganged up on by My husband,his Attorney the Mediator and My Attorney There where all these mans men kinda guys and I was the only women in the room feeling overwhelmed and railroaded.

i think my mum feels exactly like you.shes been married to my dad for 35 years and this year shes finally decided to leave him.
its different for me cos im his daughter.
she managed quite well to tolerate the maniac for 33 years-i mean he stayed quite mentally healthy considering the control,insults,verbal abuse and domineering behaviour shed had to tolerate from all my life.
but when he was made redundant 2 years ago her world just fell apart.she could just about cope with him when he was working and ahe never saw him but now he is around permanently life is hell.for the first time in her life she was diagnosed with depression and is on citalipram.
i do my best to help her but im falling apart too.
PTSD is after an event but maybe you should see a medical person cos you could be depressed.sounds like it to me anyway.


oh the confusion thing-so know what you mean.im like "should we leave,shouldnt we,what if he cant help,doesnt mean it,what if no one will help what if we have no money?"
well.i have no money as it is cos of him.
i dont know if you are married to him.if you are cos its been so long(bet it feels like a life term prison sentence) you will like rachelrachel said get half of everything.
but.if you are not i think you will anyway,in the uk im sure you do.
so dont worry about finances.we saw the solicitor just this friday and mum will get half of the 160,000 house.
take care xx

meant to say SHE stayed mentally well,not he.
he isnt mentaly well,obviously.hes a psycho
x

Chances are if you think you have PTSD you probably do. You know yourself better than you give yourself credit for right now... I think you just need validation. Well I thought I had PTSD for years and finally about a year and half ago I went to mental health and did a bunch of testing.. Sure enough I have PTSD (but I already knew it) I just needed to hear it from a professional. As I know what it feels like to feel like you are going crazy... When I was in my second marriage I had a hard time reconizing the abuse because he didn't blacken my eyes and leave scars on me as my first husband did. My bf kept telling me just because he isn't hitting you all the time doesn't mean it isn't abuse. Well for the longest time I just couldn't grab onto what she ment by that. I ended up reading the book "Men who hate women, and the women who love them" that book turned my life around because I was reading my life in black in white, someone wrote a book about it ohhh my I couldn't be crazy after all.. As far as losing everything I can really appreciate what was writen on this on an earlier reply.. You will have your dignity and self respect. You will know peace and serenity... I have started over 3 times because of leaving abusive relationship.. Lot everything I had and I would do it again if I had to... because all the material possessions in the world cannot give me what I have being out of those relationships.. If you need to talk please feel free to message me. You sound like a very wise woman and he just has really messed with your head. You are stonger than you think you are. I will be here to help give you support and talk and listen if you ever need me.
((((hugs))))

Thanks for listening, I so need to be heard,I feel as if no one around me will ever hear me, so I just don't even try.But sometimes I need to get some of this out of my head and talk to someone.I am so thankful to feel the safety and support from all of you ,I so appreciate the kind words of advice and assurance.