Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
That abuse is hard on their memory?
I consider myself to normally be an intelligent person, and in most of my life I am quite capable. But when it comes to talking about the abuse, so many of my memories are just gone. I have to speak in a court hearing about my ex's actions, and I am finding significant trouble just putting the major events into a timeline. I feel like if this was about a different subject (say, my career or the news or something else) I would be able to do this task in 5 minutes. Here, it's weeks and still I'm confused and unsure.
It's so incredibly frustrating.
I consider myself to normally be an intelligent person, and in most of my life I am quite capable. But when it comes to talking about the abuse, so many of my memories are just gone. I have to speak in a court hearing about my ex's actions, and I am finding significant trouble just putting the major events into a timeline. I feel like if this was about a different subject (say, my career or the news or something else) I would be able to do this task in 5 minutes. Here, it's weeks and still I'm confused and unsure.
It's so incredibly frustrating.
Abuse is very toxic and it affects our body, mind and soul. Abuse stresses us out in so many ways, including our ability to be articulate, remember and concentrate. It also affects our self-confidence.
Doing meditation and/or guided imagery and relaxation exercises can be very helpful. There's all kinds of how-to's and guided imagery on youtube. And check out www.healthjourneys.com. She has a free 15 min. guided imagery for relaxation.
Take a few deep breaths when sitting down to do the timeline. Take as many breaks as you need. Carry a notebook or recorder w/you (you can use your phone's recorder) and each time you think of something, make a note of it.
Affirmations can also help. "I remember all I need to know easily and effortlessly." Say this out loud while looking at yourself in a mirror. It works! Note that when you first do this, it may bring up a mixture of feelings and even some tears. But KEEP ON DOING IT anyway!
Trust yourself. You can do this!
~healing hugs~
Not only about events but my whole life. It affected my work. I forgot to pay bills, missed appointments, etc.
Writing things down helps me a lot. I know I am one of the few that uses a notepad to go grocery shopping...
developed for myself
the exercise I named
the Clarifying Index
Card exercise, (much
like what B.C. just
described above. I'll
bump the thread
where I describe it..)
That exercise has helped
me (and others) in many,
many situations.
As MTC said above,
abuse is very toxics
and affects everything
about our lives.