This is going to be very long, as this is the first time I have ever written down my feelings and experiences, so I apologize in advance. I met my ex boyfriend through my job; I am a very shy, reserved person, and he seemed so confident and interesting; always a million stories to tell. We seemed to have so many of the same interests, and I guess I was attracted to his boldness and sense of adventure. He told me of his last relationship, how he was still quite heartbroken, and how he felt he had to move away to get away from the pain, Being the caring person I am, I eventually fell into his trap, and he made me believe I was the only person worthy enough to make him stay, if I were to become romantically involved with him... So it begins from there. At first, things were pretty normal. The first incidence that made me realize things were off was an instance where we were invited out to dinner with my father; they had not yet met, and I was excited for the outing. For reasons I can't quite remember, this started an argument, because he really didn't want to go. I was devastated when he threatened to leave me, and vowed to do whatever was required to earn his approval. From there, the arguments continued, and intensified. He would often demand I leave, and I would for some reason, beg to stay. I am the type of person to avoid confrontation at all costs; I am not an angry person. I am easy-going, easy to get along with, so all of these fights were very taxing to me. Everything that happened was somehow my fault. If I felt like staying home for the evening instead of going to his house, he would guilt trip me, saying I didn't love him or care about him anymore, or how I was probably cheating on him and that was why I didn't want to come over. More often than not, he got his way. I was constantly accused of cheating, even though there were no basis for these accusations. I was not allowed to converse with anyone of the opposite sex. If he witnessed any guy at work talking to me, he became immediately suspicious and confronted me about it. He would keep close tabs on my Facebook. If any guy "liked' or commented on anything I posted, he became irrationally angry and again, I was accused of cheating. It reached the point where I was afraid to tell him anything in fear that it would start an argument. He also began using me for money. I would often give him money, which he always promised to return, but never did. If there was a time where I could not afford to lend him money, he would make me feel bad about it. He was constantly using all his money on drugs and other stupid things that he never had any for important things, like gas and food. If I was busy or happy at home, he would remind me that he had no money, so I had to come over or else he'd starve. Once, he sold his TV because he was short on cash, and later, realizing that he really missed his TV, begged me to use my credit card to purchase a new one, and that he would pay me back. (about $400, mind you,) If I reminded him about paying me back, he became angry and the subject was quickly dropped. I believe I never received more than $60 for that TV. Anyways, he then began to alienate me from my friends and family. He was making up obvious lies about one of my married best friends who we work with, saying that she was cheating on her husband with several people at work and that she was secretly trying to hook me up with someone new. When I tried to spend time with my family, he would make me feel bad for putting them above him, even though I am very close to them. He never showed any desire to meet either of my parents, which I found unusual. Although I am not quite sure, I believe he was also using gaslighting techniques on me. Often times, he would make promises, and if I brought it up later, he would deny he ever said that, and remind me that I had an awful memory. He would also make up stories about things I supposedly did to hurt him, that I had no recollection of. It made me feel like I was losing my sanity! At this point, I began to realize how much of a jerk he was. I believe at this time I began to close off my feelings, and I just stopped caring. Now, when we argued and he told me to leave his house, instead of begging to stay, I would say "fine" and go to leave. Now, suddenly, he was intent that I stay with him, and "how could I leave him like this?" It is now I believe he realized that what he was doing was not working for him anymore, and that he needed to change his tactics. I attempted to break things off with him several times, but he always found a way to draw me back in. He had to have a minor surgery for an issue that was causing him pain, and begged me to be there for him.. I always felt bad for him because he made it seem as if his own family wanted nothing to do with him, but I now realize that isn't really true. So of course, I helped him out. He then seemed to realize that all of his issues stemmed from the fact that he was in pain and it made him angry and that he was sorry... This seemed like a reasonable excuse, so I took him back. However, not surprisingly, things never got better like he promised. I "left" him several times, only to be pulled back in by him being apologetic and promising everything would change. He could never take responsibility for his behavior, it was always something else at fault. About a couple of months ago, I finally became fed up for good, and broke it off... For good. He had turned me into a person that I did not want to be. I was angry, frustrated, mean, withdrawn, and I didn't like it. Of course, he made me feel so bad for him, so I agreed we could attempt to be friends, if he promised to realize that that was all we could ever be... Though he still attempted to make up stupid rules, such as, I was still not allowed to talk to or hang out with anyone of the opposite sex; Whatever. At this point I agreed, as we still work together unfortunately and I didn't want to cause unnecessary drama. I had distanced myself from him, and began to feel happier. Christmas day, I received a ton of messages from him about how he was miserable; he had no one to spend Christmas with and had no presents, etc. I had bought him a few things before we broke up, so of course, feeling bad for him, I agreed to come to his house for a little bit, give him those gifts, and maybe cheer him up. Upon arrival, I was startled to find he had bought me a ton of presents; I have never been a material person, and I never expected any of this. He repeatedly attempted to hug and kiss me, and I demanded he stopped. He then began to talk about how long it has been since he has had sex, how sexually frustrated he was, and then, of course, he asked if we could have sex... I said no. He became angry, told me I "owed" him sex (What?!), and that it was my fault; he was a man, he had needs. At this point, I became extremely uncomfortable and told him so, and said I would leave if he continued. He didn't stop, he started to CRY (about being sexually frustrated!), so I left. Ever since, I have been receiving constant texts and phone calls. If there is one thing I have learned from this awful relationship, though, it was to stand up for myself. I explained to him how what he did was wrong, told him all my feelings, how I felt controlled and used. Of course, none of this was his fault, it was all mine. I put my foot down. I told him it was best we went our separate ways, that I could not and would not forgive him again. He blamed me for being heartless and never caring about him, how could I leave him when he spent all that money on gifts for me? He threatened suicide... This puts one in a difficult predicament. Although I am extremely bitter towards him, I don't want him to die. However, every time he uses his manipulation to make me feel sorry for him, he lets his true self show. He demanded I talk to him face to face, because apparently text messages were not sufficient. I did not want to do this; I know how manipulative he is and how easy he can play on my feelings, so I refused. He has since repeatedly threatened to show up at my house uninvited to "talk". It has made me afraid of him, though lucky for me, he has yet to follow through with this promise. As angry, sad, and terrified as he has made me feel, I still somehow feel sorry for him. Maybe he doesn't really realize what he's doing, maybe he really does want to change like he says, maybe he really does love me and I am his soul-mate, as he declares. I have wondered if he is a narcissist, though he doesn't quite fit all the criteria.. He seems more obsessed, if anything. And so, I reach out to people who have been in similar experiences, as I am truly stuck. I am stressed out, depressed, and I don't know what to do. Do I give in at the expense of my own happiness and freedom to make him happy, in hopes that he will change, or do I try to walk away for good?