Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
i've been studying this really hard recently. I know different churches have different beliefs, but my church encourages me to look first to the Bible, and then to the church. And if the church disagrees with the Bible, to go with the Bible. So, I thought I'd share what I've found in the Bible. Just to avoid argument, all counts and scriptures are KJV (well, not quite all - the word Divorce only occurs once in the KJV, and that's in Isaiah, when God divorced Israel. So I'm looking at the NKJV, and I'll compare with the counts of NIV and LIV, just to make sure I've got them all.)
Shalach: Hebrew. Occurs 852 times in the Bible. 566 times, that's translated "send"; 73 times, it's "go"; 54 times, it's "send forth" I've found twice (I know it's less than 20 - it falls under the 'misc.' translations of the word!) where it's translated "divorce." Most of the time, this is used in terms of either sending out a messenger, casting out, or releasing. This is a word which means causing to be separated, an act of departure. This is NOT a word which relates to the law of divorce, but rather to the mindset of emotional and physical distance. Interestingly, One of the two times it IS translated 'divorce' is in Malachi 2:16's famous "God hates divorce" quote. God 'shalach' Adam and Eve out of the garden of eden; Noah 'shalach' a dove to look for land; Pharoh 'shalach' a messenger. The idea of God hating separation, and desiring unity is completely consistant with the rest of what I know of God. Another time it appears in in Deuteronomy 22, when there is a law passed down that a man who rapes a woman must marry her, and may not 'shalach' her for the rest of his days.
Kerethuth: Hebrew. A bill of Divorcement. This is a legal document which ends a marriage. It shows up 4 times - twice in Deuteronomy, where it says that if a man divorces his wife, and she gets remarried, and the second man divorces her, the first man may not remarry her. (that's 2 uses of the word, right there.) The other two are in Isaiah, when it says that God put forth a 'Kerethuth' to the people of Israel. Ok - If God did it, it isn't a sin. Good to know.
Apolyo: Greek. Used 69 times in the KJV. It's translated release 17x, put away 14x, send away 13x. Divorce, less than 6 (again, in misc.) Joseph contemplated apolyo when he learned about Mary. Jesus uses this word when he talks of divorce and adultry. This is in the middle of a speech about the heart. In the sermon on the mount, Jesus reveals that God's laws aren't enough - they are the boundaries God set as the minimum acceptance - Jesus reveals that that's not the maximum of what we should do. As an example, in the old testament, God set forth the equivalent of 'Don't hit your brother.' But merely complying with that one rule does not equal all that you want the relationship between brother and sister should be - it should be more than simply the absense of hitting! If you loved your brother, you wouldn't want to hit him. So if you even want to hit your brother, there's already something wrong with the relationship. Jesus has pretty high standards for relationships - technically, impossible ones to reach, being human and all, but that's another discussion :)
Chorizo: Greek: Separate, sever. Paul uses this to describe 'divorce' in 1 Chronicles, as well as the admonition not o do it. Aha! I've found something! Don't do it! Hmmm. The word which creates the negation is me, which upon looking up, is an article of qualifed negation, not absolute negation, which is ou.
It's a work in progress, but what I've seen thus far is this: God doesn't like divorce. He doesn't want people to get divorced. In much the same way he doesn't want people to die, suffer, war... And yet these things happen, and are not sinful. It is not a sin to get divorced. It is a sad state of affairs, and unpleasant, and generally undesirable - and sometimes horribly necessary. It shouldn't be taken lightly, or abused simply for personal gain. But it is sometimes necessary, and God himself has had to do it. It can be the right choice, and God can (and has) required it of people. So one last time, for my own sake: DIVORCE IS NOT A SIN. DIVORCE CAN BE THE WILL OF GOD.
Thought I'd share, for those of you who are similarly concerned.
Shalach: Hebrew. Occurs 852 times in the Bible. 566 times, that's translated "send"; 73 times, it's "go"; 54 times, it's "send forth" I've found twice (I know it's less than 20 - it falls under the 'misc.' translations of the word!) where it's translated "divorce." Most of the time, this is used in terms of either sending out a messenger, casting out, or releasing. This is a word which means causing to be separated, an act of departure. This is NOT a word which relates to the law of divorce, but rather to the mindset of emotional and physical distance. Interestingly, One of the two times it IS translated 'divorce' is in Malachi 2:16's famous "God hates divorce" quote. God 'shalach' Adam and Eve out of the garden of eden; Noah 'shalach' a dove to look for land; Pharoh 'shalach' a messenger. The idea of God hating separation, and desiring unity is completely consistant with the rest of what I know of God. Another time it appears in in Deuteronomy 22, when there is a law passed down that a man who rapes a woman must marry her, and may not 'shalach' her for the rest of his days.
Kerethuth: Hebrew. A bill of Divorcement. This is a legal document which ends a marriage. It shows up 4 times - twice in Deuteronomy, where it says that if a man divorces his wife, and she gets remarried, and the second man divorces her, the first man may not remarry her. (that's 2 uses of the word, right there.) The other two are in Isaiah, when it says that God put forth a 'Kerethuth' to the people of Israel. Ok - If God did it, it isn't a sin. Good to know.
Apolyo: Greek. Used 69 times in the KJV. It's translated release 17x, put away 14x, send away 13x. Divorce, less than 6 (again, in misc.) Joseph contemplated apolyo when he learned about Mary. Jesus uses this word when he talks of divorce and adultry. This is in the middle of a speech about the heart. In the sermon on the mount, Jesus reveals that God's laws aren't enough - they are the boundaries God set as the minimum acceptance - Jesus reveals that that's not the maximum of what we should do. As an example, in the old testament, God set forth the equivalent of 'Don't hit your brother.' But merely complying with that one rule does not equal all that you want the relationship between brother and sister should be - it should be more than simply the absense of hitting! If you loved your brother, you wouldn't want to hit him. So if you even want to hit your brother, there's already something wrong with the relationship. Jesus has pretty high standards for relationships - technically, impossible ones to reach, being human and all, but that's another discussion :)
Chorizo: Greek: Separate, sever. Paul uses this to describe 'divorce' in 1 Chronicles, as well as the admonition not o do it. Aha! I've found something! Don't do it! Hmmm. The word which creates the negation is me, which upon looking up, is an article of qualifed negation, not absolute negation, which is ou.
It's a work in progress, but what I've seen thus far is this: God doesn't like divorce. He doesn't want people to get divorced. In much the same way he doesn't want people to die, suffer, war... And yet these things happen, and are not sinful. It is not a sin to get divorced. It is a sad state of affairs, and unpleasant, and generally undesirable - and sometimes horribly necessary. It shouldn't be taken lightly, or abused simply for personal gain. But it is sometimes necessary, and God himself has had to do it. It can be the right choice, and God can (and has) required it of people. So one last time, for my own sake: DIVORCE IS NOT A SIN. DIVORCE CAN BE THE WILL OF GOD.
Thought I'd share, for those of you who are similarly concerned.
In my studying of this I found that the famous God hates divorce found in Malachi there are some translations that are more accurate to the Hebrew than others and the verb tense "hates" has been interpreted by many scholars to be about a man who hates, not God. The newer NIV reading states
"The man who hates and divorces his wife," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "does violence to the one he should protect," says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
Another thing I read awhile back that really stuck with me is God does not honor them covenant of marriage more than the people who are in the marriage. Christ came to set us free. Now some people take liberties with that and say they need to be set free from a boring marriage or a disappointing one.
God desires for us to love our spouse, agape love.
I am learning g that sometimes that means loving them enough to not allow them to continue in their sin and unrepentance.
In the end we will all have to give an account for "every careless word we have spoken" which may include anything I have just typed.
I also like bearing in mind - God's relationship with Israel isn't like a marriage - Marriage is like God's relationship with Israel. Marriage is the shadow. And even bearing that in mind, God saw fit to divorce Israel. It's huge.